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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: My Sighs Whisper Your Name from My Heartdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: vintagepepper
    ASL Info:    21/F/OH
    Elite Ratio:    7.05 - 191/153/46
    Words: 353
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Depressed
    Total Views: 842
    Average Vote:    4.5000
    Bytes: 2213



    Description:
       this seems rather elementary to me in all honesty but it just came out. ...hmm...gets a little weird in some parts....seems as if i tried to cornily make it rhyme in some places but in all honesty i didnt MEAN to make it rhyme at all...but i know it does a little bit...that was COMPLETELY on accident. ...this is completely raw...excuse the capitalization and punctuation if they are a little funky because i wrote this on a word document and it does all that jazz for you..i was just too lazy to go back through and fix it.

    thoughts, suggestions, whatever you feel necessary!!

    thanks guys!
    <3


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy Sighs Whisper Your Name from My Heartdots
    -------------------------------------------


    What happened then?
    When we first started off
    A new love,
    New friendship
    New places to explore
    One big secret to be kept.

    Two hearts
    In sync,
    In the moment of what seemed to be filled with perfection.
    What passion flowed between our fingertips
    Transferred from your tongue to my lips.
    From your hands, to my hips

    I knew of nothing but you
    And you, nothing but I.
    We were.
    We simply justÖwere.

    Two beings nestled tightly
    Held by each otherís warmth,
    Held in a sin of lust, of passion,
    Of intimacy.
    Öintimacy in a moment Ė nay
    A single heart beat
    Where that one spark caught
    And ignited our flame

    The fire in your eyes entranced me,
    Held me there, tight to your gaze
    In your arms
    Nails in back
    Chest heaving heavily against mine.

    You are beautiful.
    More beautiful than I can make you realize.
    You made me feel.
    But it was nothing short of a dream
    Only playing itself out in the reality
    Of my life.

    I had lust-less ties to a ghost,
    A ghost incapable of love,
    He chained me,
    Shackled me with my deflowered vine
    Only sacredly held in oneís hand.

    Iím a slave.
    And will forever be a slave
    To his cravings.
    To his will.
    To his heart.

    But Iíve betrayed him,
    And his kindliness.
    Now I stare into his hollowed eyes
    And only see you peering through the gray

    Why didnít I hold on.
    Why couldnít I be strong.
    Where did I go wrong?
    Why must I cower
    At the feet of a lover
    With cobwebs.

    Why.
    What did I let you go for.
    To live in darkness with a ghost,
    Lashing me for my deeds.
    Killing me.
    When I could have had love.

    And now I have ruined you,
    I have ruined him,
    I have ruined me.
    Iíve lost what was beautiful.

    Iíve lost youÖ
    Iíve lost us.




    Submitted on 2006-08-14 14:42:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is another remarkable write, Kristina! You have remarkable talent with prose, and write with passion and eloquence! Nice work!
    | Posted on 2007-01-29 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
      This was heart felt I could tell. I hope things worked out for the good? Anyway I enjoyed this poem and everything you had to say.
    Kelley Frost
    | Posted on 2006-10-25 00:00:00 | by whendt | [ Reply to This ]
      Hmmm. *thinks for a few moments gathering his thoughts*

    Lets get the obvious out of the way first...
    No apparent spelling or punctuation errors, and the flow is nice, whether you felt it rhymed too much or was forced or not.

    "And now I have ruined you,
    I have ruined him,
    I have ruined me.
    Iíve lost what was beautiful.

    Iíve lost youÖ
    Iíve lost us. "

    My favorite lines. But I would present you with a question.. Did you really ruin him and yourself, or were you both already ruined? It takes a hell of alot to ruin a person emotionally, more times that not, we're already ruined, and such is our deep, dark secret..

    I think we all can relate to this piece in some way, shape, form or fashion. We've all had a love we've scorned or turned aside, whether it be from fear, or otherwise.

    First piece I have ever read from you, and I enjoyed it very much. I shall certainly be having a look at the others.

    | Posted on 2006-08-15 00:00:00 | by Vampirism | [ Reply to This ]
      
    "Iíve lost youÖ
    Iíve lost us. "

    Realisation late makes the mind so sad and the sweet memories act likepeeper on the wounded mind.your style of free flow as it strikes you is marvelous. In the name rule and rhyme if we fail to express our mind, it is a futile attempt. I feel you are vociferous and time passes like the wind and heart enlightened.

    Love failure is really a torture to heart!
    pen on dear Pepper!


    | Posted on 2006-08-14 00:00:00 | by ceegeeess | [ Reply to This ]


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    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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