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    dots Submission Name: ** SCREAMdots

    Author: Caotic_Disaster
    ASL Info:    16/F/Canada
    Elite Ratio:    4.03 - 447/349/148
    Words: 53
    Class/Type: Poetry/Angry
    Total Views: 668
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 331


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    dots** SCREAMdots

    I feel like screaming
    But my mouth stays closed
    I wish I could let my feelings out
    Just one loud burst
    Would say it all
    But it's locked inside
    With no way out
    Left inside to rot
    And be forgotten
    Until a spark lights it up
    And the urge to scream is renewed.

    Submitted on 2006-08-14 15:33:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Been struck with a similar feeling quite a lot. Never could figure out how to do it on paper but iyou've done a beautiful job. Nothing but grace about this poem.
    | Posted on 2006-09-13 00:00:00 | by riki_nl | [ Reply to This ]
      We used to call this "lunatic fringe", but I don't know what they are calling it these days. A good scream now and then purges the stress and strain. Keeping it in merely justifies the belief that you are contained in societies jar, and so are harmless. We do wish to be just one of the crowd, don't we? Of course we do...NOT!
    | Posted on 2006-08-14 00:00:00 | by coyote | [ Reply to This ]
      I know exactly what your saying. Sometimes, you just feel like screaming, to let everyone know how you truly feel inside. I lock my feelings up most of the time, because I have no one to talk to, but sometimes it gets to the point where I feel I can't hold my emotions in any longer.
    I think the last line two lines really stuck out in my head. "until a spark lights it up, and the urge to scream is renewed." That's probably the saddest part in this whole poem. You go through all that effort to keep from screaming, only to feel that same horrible feeling again at another time. It's upsetting, but I'm sure there are a lot of others out there, who feel the same exact feeling, as you you are describing.

    This is sad, but it's also very good.

    | Posted on 2006-08-14 00:00:00 | by PiperH | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this. Brief, to the point, and exactly what you mean... or at least that's how it sounds. To me, it says that there is no place in this civilized society for raw animalistic rage. Pure adrenaline. The last two lines seem to say that no matter how long you bottle it up, as one is likely to do (rather than be ostracised), it comes back. It's instinct.
    Just my thoughts. Thanx.
    | Posted on 2006-08-14 00:00:00 | by Donne Rogue | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the basic concept of this. I'm sure many can identify with this emotion. The only thing I felt that could be improved upon would be the simple wording of it. A bit of it seemed to be a tad cliché. Try making use of the fundamental poetic tools such as metaphors, similes, alliteration...etc. I noticed a metaphor; but if you were to enlist a few more, I think this poem could be much better. It has great potential though. Thank you for sharing this.
    | Posted on 2006-08-14 00:00:00 | by Annabelle | [ Reply to This ]
      All of us expierence that need.... and the lack of words to express that desire and urge. The words to let out that trapped dragon if you would of emotion and energy.. Waiting for the day when it consumes us or explodes on those around us. Hoping in the end neither is really the outcome. Well written.
    | Posted on 2006-08-27 00:00:00 | by trynfinity | [ Reply to This ]
      if i had even a nickel for every time i felt like this ... boy i'd be rich. i think you did a good job expressing yourself, although maybe if you had wanted to really "SCREAM" out to the reader that you could choose some more extreme words ... ya know i wanna see ya dig way down deep and acctually scream at me.

    i dont know, maybe you did get your point across the way you wanted to ... just thought i'd give a suggestion. again you did a great job

    keep it up
    | Posted on 2006-08-26 00:00:00 | by Diarygrl | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey yo! You gave me your site and i'm reading it. This one is really cool. I really know how THAT feels...but you're really good! keep it up, yo!
    | Posted on 2006-08-31 00:00:00 | by Saria | [ Reply to This ]
      Hahahha I don't know why the ending made me laugh, that was probably not your intention, but it did. I think I know how you feel, in more ways than one. Sometimes when you think a bad feeling, like anger, has disappeared, it's just getting buried and lying dormant until something, perhaps the same thing that started it in the first place, summons it and you just have to.....


    A pillow is always helpful. Try breathing deep, in and out..mmm..ahh...there you go, feeling better?

    Take care, and don't forget to scream your guts out, I won't mind.

    | Posted on 2006-08-20 00:00:00 | by Jeniffer | [ Reply to This ]

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