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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: falling apartdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: brokenbylove
    ASL Info:    26/m/australia
    Elite Ratio:    1.27 - 63/298/259
    Words: 67
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 459
    Average Vote:    3.0000
    Bytes: 388



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsfalling apartdots
    -------------------------------------------


    i fell apart right at the start
    then you came and lifted me up
    filled in the cracks made me whole
    only to drop me from higher up
    i hit the ground my heart shredded
    you scattered it and killed it
    now im falling apart again
    you tore me down, cut me down
    left me apon the ground
    now ive fallen apart too many pieces to find.....




    Submitted on 2006-08-15 04:52:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      "then you came and lifted me up
    filled in the cracks made me whole
    only to drop me from higher up"

    I love that. Thats my favorite part, although the whole thing is good.
    I agree with the last comment, so theres no point in repeating what was already said.

    Byee

    -nikkki
    | Posted on 2006-08-15 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]
      over all this poem was good, but the one thing that made it sound a little 3rd grade was the lines:
    "i hit the ground my heart squashed
    you jumped on it and killed it"
    you could've used other words than squashed and jumped on it. idk it just would've sounded like it fit into the write more. but yeah all in all, good work. keep writing...
    </3 lisa
    | Posted on 2006-08-15 00:00:00 | by 777sacrites777 | [ Reply to This ]


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