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The tree seems immortal
Branches of stone
The leaves have time allotted
Short, yet predicted
Spring to fall
A lifetime of purpose
An end in beauty
But the time is not certain
Expected, not guaranteed
A single leaf turns beautiful
Before its hour
Its time on the branch
In its fiery, early death
It outshines the others,
Surpassing the “normal” leaves of the world
| This strikes a chord with me. The truly amazing youth do seem alloted to fall from the tree too early but they blaze bright for a while. Beautiful!|
|| Posted on 2006-10-12 00:00:00 | by comradenessie | [ Reply to This ] || I think this is a fine poem. I hope you can capture this in a photo, perhaps even include it here with your poem. That would be a perfect finishing touch for this. I can take this one at face value, but also metaphoric for human life. We all live, we all die, our time is never known until it happens. We all expect to live a long life, even though we know the possibility is always there that we wont. The point you have made here is a very good one indeed. Some people can live a very long life, yet never shine, never make a difference, never stand out amongst the rest. While others who may not even live a fraction of the time, make huge impacts in the world and the people around them. If we learn anything in this life, it should be to appreciate the time we have to be alive. So many people tend to let the little things that really dont matter much, ruin days on end of their lives. I am fortunate, I have learned how priceless each day is. Ya gotta let the little things go and grab hold of what you can in life each and every day. You just never know. Another terrific write by you. Great work here. I would classify this as poetry/nature, that would be my only suggestion for you.|
Let me know if you include that picture, I would love to see it!
|| Posted on 2006-08-16 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ] || It's often the shorter flames of life that live it the fullest... that's what I get from this piece. |
While every other leaf has yet to turn red, this one, the non-conformist trend-setting one, does so... and does so without regard to the others around it.
Nothing is ever certain, but we can appreciate those fleeting moments of life given to us in blinding moments of epiphany.
Nice insight... this is almost like an extended haiku...
|| Posted on 2006-08-16 00:00:00 | by alteredlife | [ Reply to This ] || this is an interesting one steve|
its been too long yet again since i stopped by to check out your stuff... please forgive me.
i like how you have taken what seems to be a normal every day (well every day in autumn anyways) object and turned it into something less normal... less everyday... more beautiful.
now... when i was little we didnt have any trees in our backyard (i guess we still dont lol) but we did have the next door neighbours HUGE trees hanging over our property and i can remember spending HOURS looking at the leaves on the ground.
we never raked them up... we just left them there and even when they had decayed and were just skeletons of leaves they still attracted me somehow... they were still beautiful... i dunno.. maybe im strange!
anyways... i got to thinking about that when i read this piece...
i also got to thinkin about the leaf on the pamolive skincare ads back home... it was dead and dry and then they apparently put some of this skincare moisturiser on it and it got all green and pretty again...
you know i actually tried to do that once... being the young impressionable mind i was and well... it didnt work and i was shattered (i also vowed never to buy that product ever lol) but yeah... it got me to thinking just now about how once a leaf leaves the tree its over though in someways its kinda dying before it falls...
when it changes colour perhaps that is the beginning of the death... annointing for burial perhaps... i dunno...
anyways yeah... this comment feels like a fluttering leaf and this feels like the end... the realisation that nothing i can say will contribute anything critique wise to this piece but i did enjoy where it took me...
|| Posted on 2006-08-15 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ] || Well, I think that as a poem, it isn't to swell. It breaks the idea up into too many pieces, not keeping one traoin of sustained thought. But, as individual stanzas, I got a great feeling for the leaves, and the immortal tree itself. I see myself walking by myself...and then it just jumps out at you; a bright red leaf. And then the strangest thoughts cross your head, and make their way into a poem! I liked this one for the most part. |
|| Posted on 2006-08-15 00:00:00 | by Aetha Daemon | [ Reply to This ] || I really liked this poem,you spoke of nature an yet in between the lines there was this human meaning as weill,I saw hank williams who's life was cut short at 29, James Dean and many other famous people as will as those who wheren't famous just normal everyday people yet they they had that some thing extra that made them shing much like your red leaf,and ending like you last line,Bravo you did a wonderful job on this piece keep up the good writes|
|| Posted on 2006-08-17 00:00:00 | by adnil | [ Reply to This ] || This is beautiful. Just beautiful. |
I love the words. I love the meaning laced within this wonderful piece.
I love the picture as well.
This is inspiration at its best. :)
I'm really speechless. I don't know what to say that could possibly help you make this piece any better because it's amazing already. I love the leaf compared to human life; nature lives and dies too.
Early death, in humans and in nature, always arises the question "Why?" but once we move past the questioning and grief we see that they certainly do "surpass the 'normal' leaves of the world".
Amazing. Definitely a favorite.
|| Posted on 2006-08-19 00:00:00 | by borderlinetears | [ Reply to This ] |