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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: living in the pastdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: LameMansTerms
    ASL Info:    36/M/Hermosa Beach, Ca
    Elite Ratio:    4.31 - 713/1012/165
    Words: 142
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1215
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 941



    Description:
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    dotsliving in the pastdots
    -------------------------------------------



    Living in the past

    Staring back at the beaten track
    I know I wanted so much more
    For all the good it was-I donít know
    What would I use it for?

    But somehow things always change
    Your mind, the times, the pains
    You feel when doing the next line

    But thatís how it always goes
    Down the road you chose
    Of fallen dreams and forgotten bros

    Itís a steady dose of pain
    Keeps things from redundant
    And remaining the same
    And itís a shame today
    Like it was yesterday
    Tomorrows sorrow never lasts
    Yesterdayís heartbreak never goes away

    Itís never in the past
    Never in the past
    Never in the past
    I wish you could make me laugh
    Again
    Like when we were friends
    There I go again
    Living in the past

    lamemansterms




    Submitted on 2006-08-15 19:53:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      We live in the past all the time even though we say we're not; we're moving on with our lives. How the hell are we moving on when our past decision affect where we are going now and where we will end tomorrow.

    Anyhow, nicely written. The repeated process of living in the past is a great way to highlight what it is you are talking about. I think you have made a good statement here by repeating what is most important yet i kinda think that the ending is made a bit too simple for that to be an ending....I mean you have amazing other stanzas but the ending doesn't really compare as much as the previous stanzas.
    Just my thoughts though...

    Anyhow, other than that... this was pretty true...We all live in the past.

    Take care...
    ~Irina
    | Posted on 2006-08-16 00:00:00 | by charmedidentity | [ Reply to This ]
      Fews things: Choose, not chose. from [being?] redundant/[exceeding what is necessary ;)].

    Love the flow of this poem. The slow questioning at first that leads to a thinking process, later revealed to be a vicious cycle; always concluding with the same:living in the past.

    Outlaw.
    | Posted on 2006-08-16 00:00:00 | by Outlaw | [ Reply to This ]


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