[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: The War Inside Medots

    Author: Amanda Lynn
    Elite Ratio:    3.09 - 332/193/56
    Words: 158
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 829
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 1123


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe War Inside Medots

    I am lost
    deep inside my head.
    Paranoid of my own thoughts,
    reality is dead.
    Revisions and visions blur together,
    just behind my eyes,
    taking me by surprise.
    The lies…dancing around
    darting from here to there,
    until my fears are everywhere,
    pushing and pulling and tearing me apart.
    My mind in an epic battle against my heart…
    and these tiny plastic castles
    deep inside my head,
    fortified with fear…
    laughing at the dead,
    telling me its over,
    insanity has won at last.
    Leaving me broken
    on the floor,
    regaling in the past.
    Not knowing
    what is showing
    to the people passing by.
    Do they see a quiet blond girl
    or the insanity in my eyes?
    Would they understand my war
    or laugh at my cries?
    My mind wants no prisoners,
    it’s killing every part.
    Squashing dreams
    and breaking hearts.
    Leaving me
    bleeding out of my soul,
    lying in pieces,
    longing to be whole.

    Submitted on 2006-08-16 14:14:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I've been in this place a lot lately. I've always enjoyed reading your work. This piece I'm able to relate to. Lately with the load of drama going on, it just feels like there's no line between fiction and reality. Sucks. You captured the confusion well for me.

    PS: Don't feel the need to comment on my work I'm trying to get to +30 I'd taken a leave from the site for a while and now I'm back to get my reciprocation up. So, don't feel like you have to comment back. I'm just doing everyone a favor. Thanks for the read!

    | Posted on 2006-08-16 00:00:00 | by BCute | [ Reply to This ]
      hey this was very nice i enjoyed the thoughts put behind it in how you got inside your self and expressed the raw emotions of feelings
    well done and a great read and write

    | Posted on 2006-08-16 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]
      This was definitly cool. Sad, but cool.

    "pushing and pulling and tearing me apart."

    I think this line would read better if you just had pushing and pulling instead of all three.

    I absolutely loved these lines

    "Do they see a quiet blond girl
    or the insanity in my eyes?"

    This piece over all was done very well. I really liked how you were able to fit a ryhming technique in this with out it becoming a set scheme.

    Very nice job,
    | Posted on 2006-08-16 00:00:00 | by Glassy Eyed | [ Reply to This ]
      That is the best thing I have read in awhile. I loved how all of it rhymed. Good rhyming piece.
    I really can't say anything bad against it.

    Keep writing...thats good.

    | Posted on 2006-08-16 00:00:00 | by Strator | [ Reply to This ]
      i don't know if i told u this but i'm just as impressed with your work as you are with mine. this is amazing. this is one of the best things i've read in a while. i loved the way u described the "epic battle" and how u had "fortified castles". i thought that was really cool.

    Revisions and visions blur together,

    i liked that line. peace
    | Posted on 2006-08-30 00:00:00 | by unknown soldier | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Cover written by saartha
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Carry written by saartha
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Records I written by Raphael
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Love written by saartha
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    prison written by ShyOne
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    untitled written by ShyOne




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]