[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: The War Inside Medots

    Author: Amanda Lynn
    Elite Ratio:    3.09 - 332/193/56
    Words: 158
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 872
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 1123


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe War Inside Medots

    I am lost
    deep inside my head.
    Paranoid of my own thoughts,
    reality is dead.
    Revisions and visions blur together,
    just behind my eyes,
    taking me by surprise.
    The lies…dancing around
    darting from here to there,
    until my fears are everywhere,
    pushing and pulling and tearing me apart.
    My mind in an epic battle against my heart…
    and these tiny plastic castles
    deep inside my head,
    fortified with fear…
    laughing at the dead,
    telling me its over,
    insanity has won at last.
    Leaving me broken
    on the floor,
    regaling in the past.
    Not knowing
    what is showing
    to the people passing by.
    Do they see a quiet blond girl
    or the insanity in my eyes?
    Would they understand my war
    or laugh at my cries?
    My mind wants no prisoners,
    it’s killing every part.
    Squashing dreams
    and breaking hearts.
    Leaving me
    bleeding out of my soul,
    lying in pieces,
    longing to be whole.

    Submitted on 2006-08-16 14:14:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I've been in this place a lot lately. I've always enjoyed reading your work. This piece I'm able to relate to. Lately with the load of drama going on, it just feels like there's no line between fiction and reality. Sucks. You captured the confusion well for me.

    PS: Don't feel the need to comment on my work I'm trying to get to +30 I'd taken a leave from the site for a while and now I'm back to get my reciprocation up. So, don't feel like you have to comment back. I'm just doing everyone a favor. Thanks for the read!

    | Posted on 2006-08-16 00:00:00 | by BCute | [ Reply to This ]
      hey this was very nice i enjoyed the thoughts put behind it in how you got inside your self and expressed the raw emotions of feelings
    well done and a great read and write

    | Posted on 2006-08-16 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]
      This was definitly cool. Sad, but cool.

    "pushing and pulling and tearing me apart."

    I think this line would read better if you just had pushing and pulling instead of all three.

    I absolutely loved these lines

    "Do they see a quiet blond girl
    or the insanity in my eyes?"

    This piece over all was done very well. I really liked how you were able to fit a ryhming technique in this with out it becoming a set scheme.

    Very nice job,
    | Posted on 2006-08-16 00:00:00 | by Glassy Eyed | [ Reply to This ]
      That is the best thing I have read in awhile. I loved how all of it rhymed. Good rhyming piece.
    I really can't say anything bad against it.

    Keep writing...thats good.

    | Posted on 2006-08-16 00:00:00 | by Strator | [ Reply to This ]
      i don't know if i told u this but i'm just as impressed with your work as you are with mine. this is amazing. this is one of the best things i've read in a while. i loved the way u described the "epic battle" and how u had "fortified castles". i thought that was really cool.

    Revisions and visions blur together,

    i liked that line. peace
    | Posted on 2006-08-30 00:00:00 | by unknown soldier | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Bond written by saartha
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Push written by JanePlane
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Incubus written by monad
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Giving written by jjd
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    Wavelength written by saartha
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]