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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Love's Pupildots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: wallya20
    ASL Info:    18/m/Bahamas
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 113/68/26
    Words: 258
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 785
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1577



    Description:
       im really into someone right now and in the past i would be real quick to say oh i love you without even thinkin so ive learned and heres something to show u what it took for me to understand


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    dotsLove's Pupildots
    -------------------------------------------


    Iíve been through a lot
    Mistakes parented me and taught me how things are suppose to be
    Heartbreaks nurtured me
    Tears became my best friends; each one
    A different story behind it
    My past is an advocate for my present
    Love is a very common word
    Used loosely in everyoneís vocabulary
    Thatís all it has become just another word
    No, there has to be one other person that still believes there is more to it
    The emotion lasts a lifetime
    The heart aches from its rejection
    The walls know I have said it more than often Just for the after affect
    No meaning just barren words
    Leading to a world of false hopes
    Filled with wishes and dreams
    Just to be shun out from the true meaning
    I forced myself to believe it was true
    I actually felt love, but
    For some reason there was something left out
    Standing at my window one night
    I looked on into nothing
    Listening to the silence, I miss her
    She was the mold to loveís very existence
    Left now with a battered self conscience
    Feeling guilty to
    I administered the same fate
    Learning was an experience that left me cold
    A pupil to emotions
    A diligent watchman to its teachers
    Reluctant to undergo its harsh backlash
    Though it canít keep me from loving again
    She is sitting right in front of me whilst I write and doesnít know
    My true feelings hesitant but will grow
    I know I will truly love




    Submitted on 2006-08-16 14:54:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Love is a tricky word. Yes, there are so many common uses for it, I love chocolate, my husband loves potato chips but we are so in love with each other it's embarassing. It takes awhile to find the lasting love, the eturnal type of love and one step is finding out that maybe love means just a little bit more. Sounds like you had a pretty hard fall but you made it, and life goes on, changing and rearanging itself daily. And now, maybe this time, you'll be wiser, not pushing yourself so much into your love's face but letting yourself be known, like a scent in the wind. I like coming of age writings, call me nostalgic. I think this writing could use a few word changes just to make it a flow a little easier, small nit-picky things: "how things are suppose to be" maybe could be shorted to "how things should be" it saves on sylables. I remember my 10th grade eng. teacher saying something like...(who can really remember that far back?) say what you mean, use the words you need to use, conserve, you will pay for them someday. And, maybe you should re-read what you post before you hit the submit button. I know it's hard sometimes, but don't be in such a hurry, you have your lifetime to get it done...("Just to be shun out from the true meaning" maybe should be "...shut out..." or perhaps "shunned from true meaning..." Maybe, just a thought.) Stay cool, thanks for sharing...Az
    | Posted on 2006-08-16 00:00:00 | by Azurekat | [ Reply to This ]


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