Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Sea and Oceansdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Namlooc20
    ASL Info:    26/Male/Spokane, WA
    Elite Ratio:    4.2 - 359/327/107
    Words: 253
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Misc
    Total Views: 1055
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1640



    Description:
       This song is split into two singers.
    Singer 1 thinks his relationship is going to end and he still loves her dearly.
    Singer 2 is his best friend and tries talking to her to see whats up.

    I'm working on an Afterlude to it with a female singer.

    Auburn = Auburn, Washington

    Just kind of a flows song.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSea and Oceansdots
    -------------------------------------------


    (Singer 1)
    Just here, crying in this Auburn rain
    Wishing, (yeah) I could see your face again
    Then you, call me a liar.

    (Your)
    Brown Eyes, Brown hair and your ponytail
    Darkened, by that ghastly veil
    You. Call. A. Smile.

    .:Chorus:.
    What if I said I'm gonna miss you?
    What if I said I'm gonna fly?
    Turning heartache into fillers
    And I'm not wasting my time
    Sailing on the sea of dreams
    Wishing I could just get by
    (And) Your loves the only thing I need
    To help me stay alive


    (Singer 2)
    And you know those times he held you in his arms,
    You know he sincerely cared.
    And you know those times he held you in his gaze,
    Those feelings that you shared.
    He never lied to you
    Only confide about to
    He would die for you
    Cry for you
    Lie about you
    And what if he said, “You are an angel on earth.”
    I guess he’s in heaven
    And the bliss really shows….


    (Singer 2) What if you said
    (Singer 1) What if you just said "goodnight" (repeat 2 more times)
    What if you said...
    What if I said!!!


    .:Chorus:.

    (Singer 1)
    What if I said I wanna kiss you?
    What if I said I'm gonna die?
    Turning heartache into failures
    and I'm just wasting my time
    Sailing on my sea of dreams
    Wishing I would wake tonight
    And your loves the only thing
    I need to stay alive.




    Submitted on 2006-08-16 21:58:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Words come to mind.

    "I know, I know I've let you down, I've been a fool to myself... thought that I could live for no one else. But now, through all the hurt and pain... it's time for me to respect... the ones who love me more than anything, so with sadness, in my heart... feel the best thing I could do, is end it all and leave forever..."

    Actually that's a quote from a song. I have coded it the "tumbling down spiral"...
    Also, another song, something that goes like, uhm, what is it... oh.. er... *think*

    "You say my love is all you need to see you through, but I know these words are not quite true... here is the path you're lookin' for, open door... leading to worlds you'd love to explore, go, if you must move on I know..."

    Also a quote from a song. (I do that alot >_>)
    but yeah Kyle, very interesting.
    I think I'm actually starting to understand your writing.
    | Posted on 2006-10-02 00:00:00 | by Mieko | [ Reply to This ]
      hmmm... a bit of a poem/song we have all written. It seems that everyone can relate and it is true that this feeling needs venting and it is entertaining to see what others think of it and how they experience it. however, as for the song/poem, i think it flows really well and i like the way it sounds. the only advice i can really give is to use a few different words... i feel like it was a bit repetitive. Other than that it was good. enjoy
    | Posted on 2006-08-17 00:00:00 | by Esophagus1 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    114690

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    The World written by jjd
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry