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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: "Timeless Dreams"dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Shadow_Mirror
    ASL Info:    23/m/CA
    Elite Ratio:    4.59 - 54/39/18
    Words: 102
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 919
    Average Vote:    4.5000
    Bytes: 589



    Description:
       This is a love poem I did for my g/f before we started going out and I was still plauged with unending darkness and pain... she helped free my broken wings from those evil shackels, and this is howed I thanked her, hope you all enjoy..


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots"Timeless Dreams"dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Close your eyes-
    take some trust in me,
    follow the sound of my voice-
    I won't let you go astray,
    lean in close-
    my heart can keep you warm,
    you need to stop thinking-
    that way your emtions will be clear,
    I have been waiting for you-
    here in the Garden of Dreams,
    and now is the time,
    the time for dreams to come true,
    for I have waited-
    and the path has led you to my side,
    where we we will dance with the burning Stars,
    and our laughter will echo for the rising sun."




    Submitted on 2006-08-17 06:32:50     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      that is a good poem my friend i like it it is deep with feeling and emotin very nice
    | Posted on 2008-01-06 00:00:00 | by shadowedwarrior | [ Reply to This ]
      Your points well fairly well made in this piece Tony. You do have a couple of problems though...in line 14 "lead" should read "led" and in line 15 "were" should read "where". It is always a plus to proof your work prior to posting it.
    | Posted on 2007-04-17 00:00:00 | by ErgoIgo | [ Reply to This ]
      without reading the description, you can tell its a love poem. I loved it and actually can relate, i won't ramble on about how i can but this poem def. touches my heart. thenk you for the wonderful read. keep up the great writing.
    ~Midnight Shadow~
    | Posted on 2006-11-22 00:00:00 | by Midnight Shadow | [ Reply to This ]
      You worded this poem very lovely. It flowed beautifully, and I felt like it was dream in a way. Just two people in love and happy. I especially liked the last two lines. Also, the beginning was very good. It was descibing how if someone truely loved you they would give up their senses because they know they can trust you with their life. Excellent job! ^_^
    | Posted on 2006-09-24 00:00:00 | by Renada | [ Reply to This ]
      This was also very good. I can see that it is in a way quite similar to that other poem you write, and that I commented. You have a certain style, your own style. Keep that, and never lose it.
    This was very good.

    "Close your eyes-
    take some trust in me,
    follow the sound of my voice-
    I won't let you go astray,
    lean in close-"

    This part felt so familiar. Like, when you are alone in the late nights, and you dream of someone to come and comfort you like that.
    Besides, the title was very brilliant and lovely!

    I really liked it :D





    | Posted on 2006-08-25 00:00:00 | by ChrystalR | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a nice love poem. Once again, you express your feelings well and your love and appreciation for this person really shows with your words. It is indeed wonderful when we meet that one person who stands out amongst the rest and offers our world more than we realized could be there. One special person can make all the difference in the world and it does feel so good when it happens. They change your perspective on life somehow and you begin to see things in a brighter light, a more positive way. I am sure she must have loved this poem. It is very sweet. Nice work.

    Lorna
    | Posted on 2006-08-17 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      I thought your poem read more as a song to me than a poem. But overall it was good. Your word choice is outstanding. I believe it can leave the reader captivated by your thoughts and to me, thatís what counts. Thanks for sharing your poem.
    | Posted on 2006-08-17 00:00:00 | by gigglebox24 | [ Reply to This ]
      i do like this one. you certainly have a way with your words. i really get a sense of how you feel, it comes across beautifully. again, nice work, keep postin'.
    whirl**

    p.s noticed one or two typos,
    'were we weill dance with the burning Stars'

    should be

    'where we will dance with the burning Stars'
    | Posted on 2006-08-17 00:00:00 | by whirl | [ Reply to This ]
      Very nice love poem, you g/f must love it, keep writing, Dean
    | Posted on 2006-08-17 00:00:00 | by Survivor_Dean | [ Reply to This ]


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    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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