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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Sweet Banthilinedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Maevity
    Elite Ratio:    7.03 - 48/48/22
    Words: 154
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1010
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1200



    Description:
       Oh boy. Please don't give me a review saying "why did you write in nonesense? Who would do that?" because the answer to your question is Lewis Carroll. I love his poem the Jabberwocky, and after I sang it, I was so inspired that I wrote two nonsense poems. The other resembles the Jabberwoccky more, but this has purely my own thought and story. I would love it if you could share your thoughts! If you like this one, I will post the other one.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSweet Banthilinedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Swimming, gliding,
    The great Banthiline
    The river of sweeshi.
    The river of thyne.

    The sleeters, fleeters,
    As they flittered and flied,
    The river they grabe
    And slimmered and spryed.

    The bendy wined
    And the Banthi sreeled,
    The sleeters and fleeters
    Creeled and squealed.

    Sweet Banthinine rose
    Up high in a rage
    Those fleeters, those sleeters,
    Before her would crage.

    Her shadow was dark,
    Her ripples were large,
    She roared in a frazer,
    Shrill as a tharge.

    The sleeters
    The fleeters
    All gliped away quick.

    The thine of the river
    The sweeshi
    Sweet Benthi
    Leapt faster, and faster.

    Soon Benthi, sweet Benthi,
    Was stormy and black,
    And all of the glipers
    Were slyped in and thrashed.

    Benthi once more
    Resumed her repose
    Her river of sunshine,
    A river of rose.

    Content and befraggled,
    She again glid and slipped,
    Through mountains and valleys
    Safely and swift.




    Submitted on 2006-08-17 14:06:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I really like how creative you got with this piece. It's very unusual, and I find that to be refreshing. The words flow and roll off of your tongue; it just sounds great! I have personally never written anything like this, but I'm afraid that now I can't fight the urge to try. It reminds me a little of the Dr. Suess that I loved so much as a child; very appeasing to the ear. So I admire your bold and adventurous literary move. Keep up the original work. I hope to see more of your stuff, and thanks for sharing.

    Peace out,
    Sarah Jane
    | Posted on 2006-08-17 00:00:00 | by SayJay | [ Reply to This ]
      The asthetic of sound you present here is wonderful. I love sound and playing with sounds. Do you ever read Gerald Manely Hopkins, he is the foremost of the astheticists. "The world is charged with the grandure of God" will take the top of your head off. Read it if you havent. Back to you.

    I couldnt find "Banthiline" in the dictionary so its meaning is lost on me, but it didnt stop my from enjoying this fine peice of poppycock, jibber jaber, or if you prefer, jaberwockey. This is a river I would much like to meet. Great work here, keep it up, and do post the other little didy you have stored away in your repitoire.
    Looking forward to more.
    | Posted on 2006-08-17 00:00:00 | by leftof_red | [ Reply to This ]
      I agree with the first two people...it's definitely refreshing to see this type of writing. Besides the fact that I don't really understand it. lol But that isn't the point. It was very good.

    I can't really say anything about spelling, cuz, honestly, I don't know how to spell the words...so if there wrong....I can't tell. lol

    So what I am saying is....it was a very good piece. Keep up the good work.
    -Strator
    | Posted on 2006-08-18 00:00:00 | by Strator | [ Reply to This ]
      amazing poem, so creative and original i cant think of much not already mentioned by the last 3 commentors, so ill just say this, Great work !!!

    ~lou~
    | Posted on 2006-08-20 00:00:00 | by elseibi | [ Reply to This ]


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