Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Sweet Banthilinedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Maevity
    Elite Ratio:    7.03 - 48/48/22
    Words: 154
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1084
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1200



    Description:
       Oh boy. Please don't give me a review saying "why did you write in nonesense? Who would do that?" because the answer to your question is Lewis Carroll. I love his poem the Jabberwocky, and after I sang it, I was so inspired that I wrote two nonsense poems. The other resembles the Jabberwoccky more, but this has purely my own thought and story. I would love it if you could share your thoughts! If you like this one, I will post the other one.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSweet Banthilinedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Swimming, gliding,
    The great Banthiline
    The river of sweeshi.
    The river of thyne.

    The sleeters, fleeters,
    As they flittered and flied,
    The river they grabe
    And slimmered and spryed.

    The bendy wined
    And the Banthi sreeled,
    The sleeters and fleeters
    Creeled and squealed.

    Sweet Banthinine rose
    Up high in a rage
    Those fleeters, those sleeters,
    Before her would crage.

    Her shadow was dark,
    Her ripples were large,
    She roared in a frazer,
    Shrill as a tharge.

    The sleeters
    The fleeters
    All gliped away quick.

    The thine of the river
    The sweeshi
    Sweet Benthi
    Leapt faster, and faster.

    Soon Benthi, sweet Benthi,
    Was stormy and black,
    And all of the glipers
    Were slyped in and thrashed.

    Benthi once more
    Resumed her repose
    Her river of sunshine,
    A river of rose.

    Content and befraggled,
    She again glid and slipped,
    Through mountains and valleys
    Safely and swift.




    Submitted on 2006-08-17 14:06:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I really like how creative you got with this piece. It's very unusual, and I find that to be refreshing. The words flow and roll off of your tongue; it just sounds great! I have personally never written anything like this, but I'm afraid that now I can't fight the urge to try. It reminds me a little of the Dr. Suess that I loved so much as a child; very appeasing to the ear. So I admire your bold and adventurous literary move. Keep up the original work. I hope to see more of your stuff, and thanks for sharing.

    Peace out,
    Sarah Jane
    | Posted on 2006-08-17 00:00:00 | by SayJay | [ Reply to This ]
      The asthetic of sound you present here is wonderful. I love sound and playing with sounds. Do you ever read Gerald Manely Hopkins, he is the foremost of the astheticists. "The world is charged with the grandure of God" will take the top of your head off. Read it if you havent. Back to you.

    I couldnt find "Banthiline" in the dictionary so its meaning is lost on me, but it didnt stop my from enjoying this fine peice of poppycock, jibber jaber, or if you prefer, jaberwockey. This is a river I would much like to meet. Great work here, keep it up, and do post the other little didy you have stored away in your repitoire.
    Looking forward to more.
    | Posted on 2006-08-17 00:00:00 | by leftof_red | [ Reply to This ]
      I agree with the first two people...it's definitely refreshing to see this type of writing. Besides the fact that I don't really understand it. lol But that isn't the point. It was very good.

    I can't really say anything about spelling, cuz, honestly, I don't know how to spell the words...so if there wrong....I can't tell. lol

    So what I am saying is....it was a very good piece. Keep up the good work.
    -Strator
    | Posted on 2006-08-18 00:00:00 | by Strator | [ Reply to This ]
      amazing poem, so creative and original i cant think of much not already mentioned by the last 3 commentors, so ill just say this, Great work !!!

    ~lou~
    | Posted on 2006-08-20 00:00:00 | by elseibi | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    114776

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    The Azores written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Carry written by saartha
    Ache written by rev.jpfadeproof
    written by Daniel Barlow
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    Every..... written by jackz
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Cover written by saartha
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry