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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Why am I crying?dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Darkwarrior
    ASL Info:    27
    Elite Ratio:    3.51 - 60/63/33
    Words: 42
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 774
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 305



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhy am I crying?dots
    -------------------------------------------


    The trees hang low
    brushing my face
    wiping the tears
    upon my cheeks
    my lips quiver
    as the wind blows
    against my brittle body
    I shiver
    in shock
    and close my eyes
    in wonder
    as my filthy hands
    cover
    my distorted face.




    Submitted on 2006-08-17 14:22:16     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Why did you write this piece, whats the background behind it you leave too many questions unanswered, uncatered to really. Put a little more detail into this, then it would be easier to read.

    Sorries,
    Jay.
    | Posted on 2006-08-17 00:00:00 | by Flowerinbloom | [ Reply to This ]
      It would be better if you put a little more detail into it, although I don't really think you need to. Your title asks a question, therefore you don't really know anything. You don't know why you are crying, you don't know why anything happens. Your just so confused and sad, and all this other stuff you can't explain either. Well, that's just what I got from it.


    Anyways, great work

    ~Piper
    | Posted on 2006-08-17 00:00:00 | by PiperH | [ Reply to This ]
      You know. I'm not going to critique this. I think this piece is about the reader being able to FEEL through the words the background. You shouldn't have to tell me the background or anything. The title itself spoke a thousand words. It was descriptive enough. Anything more would've been drawn out in my opinion. You allowed the reader to feel the intensity of your pain, frusteration, confusion in few words. I applaud you for that.

    <3BCute

    Don't feel the need to comment on my work I'm trying to get to +30 I'd taken a leave from the site for a while and now I'm back to get my reciprocation up. So, don't feel like you have to comment back. I'm just doing everyone a favor. Thanks for the read!
    | Posted on 2006-08-17 00:00:00 | by BCute | [ Reply to This ]


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