Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Unknowndots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jackz
    ASL Info:    24/F/OH
    Elite Ratio:    3.76 - 591/622/378
    Words: 156
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 547
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 948



    Description:
       I wrote this about 2 weeks after my 15th birthday. sigh.. again this is about my family and what may come out of the near future.. about worries I have and long to not have them...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Unknowndots
    -------------------------------------------


    When on the road
    I look at the houses that pass us by
    I imagine the families insde
    The people inside are nothing like
    The people in my family
    The families inside those houses
    Are nothing like my family
    The trees are so alive
    In front of these house
    That pass us by
    Yet inside of me I am not
    My soul has been killed
    For emotionly I have out done myself
    I am tired and weak inside
    The pain I've went threw
    And the pain I'm going threw
    Makes me leary
    To what my surroundings are
    Life is not the same
    For tomorrow is unknown
    And its taken all this for me to acknowlege this (the unknown)
    As the same for my future
    Tomorrow may come
    And I may not be here
    The things I worry about
    Is something I wish I didn't have to...
    But I have been given no choice..




    Submitted on 2006-08-17 19:38:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Wow! As I was reading this, in the begining, I wasn't too sure where this was going. Like "Are you comparing your life because you think it's much greater or much worse?" It was sort of a shock when I got to "Yet inside of me I am not, My soul has been killed" I love the contrast in that. This poem is somewhat suspensful, the way you described how you never know what could happen in the near future, and the hopelessness of making things better, so you won't have to worry anymore. Very dark, I love it.
    | Posted on 2006-08-17 00:00:00 | by xmichellex | [ Reply to This ]
      ur a lil diffrent from alot of poetry i have read.. u get a lil deeper but then again u dont reach the extent i think u are but u keep me wondering... but then again i understand what your'e trying to say.. this is hott i like this 1 alot.. nice work .. keep it up
    | Posted on 2006-09-05 00:00:00 | by bryan88 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    114816

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    The World written by jjd
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry