Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Cups & Bowlsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: yellow balloons
    ASL Info:    16
    Elite Ratio:    3 - 7/3/9
    Words: 252
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 548
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1565



    Description:
       for shay.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCups & Bowlsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    So she taught me.

    And rubbed my spine, oh so slowly
    Drawing pictures of childish dreams
    On the small of my back
    And kissed my knees
    Where the tile dug deep
    So what do you want me to say?
    That we fell apart the way wed planned?
    Im so sorry I took your sister away
    But you have to understand
    I never wanted it to be this way

    I never thought Id dread November
    And the coming weather
    Flashes of rain dances I will remember forever
    Weather that shook us to the bone
    The puddles I will now have to walk through alone
    I never imagined Id ache for that bliss
    So believe that I never asked for any of this



    So I helped her.

    And talked her through the minutes of torture
    Yes, I held her hair when she coughed up red
    I whispered iloveyou in her ear
    And all the words she always said
    I stayed right there until the room got quiet
    So together, we could try to rationalize it
    And when she shook softly, finished and weary
    She made raindrops on my skin
    As we faced eachother in that square
    And I took my turn
    But I'm not quite sure
    Why.
    thebowlthebowlthebowl
    The bowl that killed her
    She just sat and panted
    Energy lost
    Just sitting there in silence behind me
    As I threw down my head
    And afterwards, when darkness came
    Her lap always became my bed




    Submitted on 2006-08-17 20:25:13     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    114826

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    To written by SavedDragon
    On Loop written by Daniel Barlow
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    Bond written by saartha
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Incubus written by monad
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    When Crows Tick on Windows written by metallichick786
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    Giving written by jjd
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    Wavelength written by saartha

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry