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    dots Submission Name: Panic Attackdots

    Author: beautiful.lie
    ASL Info:    18//f//riverdale
    Elite Ratio:    1.62 - 0/0/1
    Words: 443
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 508
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2678


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    dotsPanic Attackdots

    for the record..
    my chest feels tight
    i feel like i can't breathe
    i want to scream and cry
    but i'm not doing a thing
    my body feels stiff
    but at the same time weak
    and i can't find comfort in anything
    no song has helped me
    only made me feel even worse
    more tense and distressed
    and my breath seems dispersed
    i'm unable to find it
    can't even find myself
    i'm a complete and utter mess
    numb with all feeling
    tired with all energy
    focused on thought
    wanting to run away
    from everything going on in my head
    everything i'm feeling inside
    if only i could breathe
    if only i could sigh
    i'm trying so hard to get everything out
    but nothing is working, i'm stuck there's no doubt
    i wish i knew how to make it stop
    how to feel better,
    wish i could take a deep breath and go on
    but still i find no comfort in breathing
    and still i cannot cry
    and not a single song is helping me fill my eyes
    nor has anything taken the weight off my chest
    i want to sleep
    need my thoughts to rest
    but it seems impossible with these feelings at their best
    i wish i could find how to make this all stop
    but anything i think of is most illogical
    unreasonable and harmful to myself and i know
    that if any of it happened, i'd only have gone
    back to where i was a few years ago
    and never again do i want to be there
    with feelings of such depression, emptiness and despair.
    but then i realize i am emptier than ever
    i am most lost than i remember
    taking deep breaths to try and make it all go away
    but here i am stuck
    so i guess i have to stay
    with myself until all of this is gone
    searching on until i find what is truly wrong
    even writing is of no assistance
    so i am going to put myself at a distance
    from everything i'm feeling
    everything inside
    everything that's happening
    it was so stupid to hide
    behind the facade that i put in front of me
    all because none of these people needed to see
    how i get and how i end up
    i didn't need to or mean to scare any of them
    so i'm letting go now of this keyboard
    and i will try to close my eyes
    try to breath and go on with my night
    and hopefully sleep until i feel light
    both in my eyes and in my heart
    so here i go.. it's time to start.

    Submitted on 2006-08-18 09:48:50     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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