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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: grey lightdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: eowyn
    ASL Info:    18/f/australia
    Elite Ratio:    5.47 - 227/153/76
    Words: 89
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 128
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 569



    Description:
       a rewrite, about myself and my BF


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsgrey lightdots
    -------------------------------------------


    In love and hate, the
    Constant conflicting passions.
    Light shining inward
    While darkness shines outward.
    I am lost
    In the grey light.
    My love for you.
    Can I handle the truth
    Or do I want to know
    If you return my feelings?
    Will it cut at my soul worse
    To hear what I already know
    Or the lie I want to hear?
    Gently or softly
    Your words whisper silently.
    I ignore them with
    The foolish mirage
    That I am in your arms,
    Sleeping in the grey light.




    Submitted on 2006-08-18 20:15:26     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Criticisms: More academic writers will tell you to be more specific and to avoid "archaic themes" like "love and hate", but screw 'em. Except for the capitalization of every line, I like this the way it is.

    Praises: The poem is about complicated emotions, fear and sweet self pity. Grey light is awesome. Not black or white, just somewhere in between. This poem has my favorite element: cleverness. "Or the lie I want to hear" oh, i like that. More often, this is something a female would feel and express, which adds sincerity to the write.

    Not bad a'tall.

    Art Lives!
    T.J.
    | Posted on 2006-09-22 00:00:00 | by tjsmith5 | [ Reply to This ]
      Very effective use of images. its always nice to make lying to your self pretty with words. i think It could be improved with some stanzas. good write
    Lafferty
    | Posted on 2006-08-21 00:00:00 | by Lafferty | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
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