This site will self destruct in 2 months, March 17. It will come back, and be familiar and at the same time completely different. All content will be deleted. Backup anything important. --- Staff
spora di spas tic of watch es muy fan tastico to ward count down pullout
breathing brooding breading gills of sniffed paranoia
I would have missed taken mistaken mist for saken for a loving flute blower
and I loathe loving loads leaden long to her
I missed the bat, Miss Bat, mice bath in an e - jacket relation
ethernet ether meta fractal fractures, tract of treading tact ..yours ?
loosely loosing loose lessons of lesser loans of God
dog missing missed missile minstrel mincing meats
scatter dog splatter god shatter dog matter-Oh-Factly God
sweating sweet swedish stereotypes of blonde shells
it's very important impotent imp-oh-tent that a woman breasts her challenge
I would have forsaken mist for aching mistakes of a loving muse blower
and I lesion lesson lesser activities of street learning
I trapped the wat, Miss twat, twice flap to ex-communicate relations
so we say - I will eat your soul
they say - your teeth will never hold
so we say - dental care is cruical
they say - candy sugar baby, eat me
all say - the greed will eat your soil
- the priests will eat your soul
- the sick will eat your sole
- the prick will eat your toil
` - the fiend will smoke your foil
- our faith will eat your soul
- the ex will eat your soil
head blown well in swells
we drown well in wells
tie the head
out of halter
break the wave
I foam to rest on a coral floor
| alliteration gone crazy - strange, curious and compelling - seems like it should be read outloud on open mike night in 'an e - jacket relation' |
|| Posted on 2006-10-12 00:00:00 | by comradenessie | [ Reply to This ] || You know dude, I had this lengthy critique I was going to give you... but then I chickened out due to lethargy... and um, well... lethargy lol. |
We discussed homonyms or near-homonyms, didn't we? How it's a cool idea to use two words that sound near-on the same, in the same line/poem... for ambiguity, or perhaps double meanings... etc etc blah.
I just wanted to say why I faved this-- it's because it embodies this, and it embodies that crazy creative principle I admire. Breaking free of semantics to produce your own, wordplay for the hell of it-- because it's fun dammit, and screw the purists. Ha.
That's what I think. Reinvent the wheel in increments... or maybe get rid of them altogether and try a rocket-pack strapped to your back instead. Make sense? Probably not... but hey.
Gotta go mofo. Have fun being sick at home while I cruise to Hamiltronia lol.
|| Posted on 2006-08-25 00:00:00 | by alteredlife | [ Reply to This ] || Hey, quite frankly I'm a little bit overwhelmed to tackle critiquing this, but I can't fight the urge to attempt it. I'm really intrigued by this piece. I like how abstract it is, yet very grounded with its' multiple social refrences. You seem to cover everything from god to helter-skelter, tooth decay, and anything in between. The words themselves are pleasing to the ear with the slow and steady progression from one rhyme to the next. I have personally never written anything in this sort of style, and it kind of makes me get a little twinge of jealousy as to how boring my stuff must seem. This poem is sort of like a "Alice in wonderland, how far down the rabbit hole do you want to go?" odyssey. I'm afraid that I can't really pick apart a meaning out of all of this. It kind of gives me that feeling you get deep in the nape of your spine when you try to think about all of the beauty and pain that coexist in this world. That's the best I can do to describe it, mostly a very strong and overwhelming flood of emotion about everything and nothing all at once. Thank you so much for sharing something so original. It was a treat to read. |
|| Posted on 2006-08-18 00:00:00 | by SayJay | [ Reply to This ] |