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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Whisperdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Toxic Rose
    Elite Ratio:    5.82 - 159/220/97
    Words: 263
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Love
    Total Views: 1012
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1848



    Description:
       You make me dream..


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhisperdots
    -------------------------------------------


    This is the confidence
    That I've never known before
    These are the treasures that
    Are lost on this island's shore
    This is the dream that I
    Have never dared to say before
    This is the whisper that
    Always left me begging for more

    You're simply amazing
    You're all in my world
    You've got me sayin'
    That I just wanna be your girl
    Oh, you've got my imagination
    Caught up in this sensation
    You've given me wonders
    You've given me light
    And I can't say no 'cause it feels so right

    Oh, this is the confidence
    That I've never known before
    And these are the treasures that
    You found on my lost island's shore
    This is the dream that I
    Never dared to dream before
    This is the whisper that
    Will leave you begging fo rmore

    I'm going crazy
    With you in my world
    You've got me wonderin'
    Why you picked me, of all the girls
    Oh, you've got me thinkin' bout you, day and night

    You're simply amazing
    You're all in my world
    You've got me sayin'
    That I just wanna be your girl
    Oh, you've got my imagination
    Caught up in this sensation
    You've given me wonders
    You've given me light
    And I can't say no 'cause it feels so right

    This is the confidence
    That I've never known before
    These are the treasures that
    Are lost on my island's shore
    This is the dream that I
    Have never dared to dream before
    This is the whisper that
    You'll whisper back to me, I'm sure.




    Submitted on 2006-08-18 20:47:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Hey, this is really nice. I was trying to sing it in my head, see how it would sound, kind of played with different styles... hope you don't mind.

    "This is the whisper that
    You'll whisper back to me, I'm sure."

    I love that. You've acknowledged your love and now you're waiting for the same acknowledgement, and you already know it's coming.

    "These are the treasures that
    Are lost on my island's shore"

    Reading this, I saw a tiny island (with a palm tree) and only two inhabitants. Made me think of how love can make you feel like you're the only two people in the world. Oh, and there was a heart drawn in the sand.

    Anyway, mindless raving aside, this was really beautiful. You did a really great job. ...bb...

    Tay ~~
    | Posted on 2006-08-19 00:00:00 | by Phoenix2004 | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey, I'm really feeling this piece! You've got a wonderful meter and flow, almost lyrical in style. I suppose that would be why when I read it I felt more like singing it. It would really make a great song. The content is great, you paint a clear picture of your love and how intense it's growing. I especially enjoyed the imagery of the lost treasure on the island's shore that you carried throughout, it really gave it a cyclical path. My favorite part is the lines that you repeat rhyming "imagination" with "sensation". I also thought that your ending was great, it seemed to naturally fall into place and wrapped the whole poem up with a nice little bow. I think this is very well-written. All I can say is to keep it up and I hope to see more of this caliber. Thanks for sharing such a beautiful picture of your love.

    Peace out,
    Sarah Jane
    | Posted on 2006-08-18 00:00:00 | by SayJay | [ Reply to This ]


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