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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: False And Lovelydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Liv2LoveThePain
    ASL Info:    19 - F - Philly
    Elite Ratio:    4.23 - 1527/1515/256
    Words: 89
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 1041
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 659



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFalse And Lovelydots
    -------------------------------------------


    I dug a grave for us.
    You entered willingly.
    Clinging to this shovel,
    looking down is killing me.

    Tell me one more lie.
    (Give me one more night.)
    Something false and lovely.
    (Razors dressed in white.)

    This hole's become my hell,
    and I refuse to go.
    If there're reasons to stay,
    breathe and make them show.

    Take another breath...
    (knowing I am here.)
    Suffocate again.
    (Slowly disappear.)

    Though I know it's over,
    help me grab denial.
    Once again, I leave and
    once again, you smile.




    Submitted on 2006-08-18 23:59:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I would be giving away my deepest darkest secret if I told you why this speaks to me so poignantly, but trust me when I say... you just stuck the knife in and twisted it. There is nothing I don't like about this. And the title is haunting. Your rhyme and rythym... awesome! Makes me want to read something else by you... think I will.
    | Posted on 2006-10-09 00:00:00 | by kiddo13 | [ Reply to This ]
      I hope you have found your calling in life? If not you should consider poetry. Wourds flow off your quil like water melting from a early sping's day.
    Kind of dark but that makes it all the better is all I can say.
    Kelley Frost
    | Posted on 2006-08-24 00:00:00 | by whendt | [ Reply to This ]
      You know if I were a woman, I'd more than likely hate you out of jealousy. As it is, an idea, very similar to this popped in my head this morning. I wont be writing it. OK " (Razors dressed in white.)" this line is bugging me! Though I'm not asking, cause I don't believe in that; the only guess i got is coke, and there's not much a connection. Unless you're like Stephen King, and enjoy a little "inspiration". And I agree wtih Phil Collins there, you ARE the best writer here! And you're true to your style. However I don't consider complimenting you, kissing your ass. But you said you're stunningly attractive anyways, so who am I to complain if I pucker up, and kiss the "exit only" sign. Very well done, as usual!
    | Posted on 2006-08-19 00:00:00 | by dismentled | [ Reply to This ]
      YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY ONE OF THE BEST WRITERS ON HERE, OR ATLEAST OUT OF THE FEW I HAVE COME ACROSS, SO IT'S SORTA HARD FOR ME TO CRITIQUE ESPECIALLY WHEN I HAVE ENJOYED IT SO MUCH...YOU WERE TRUE TO YOUR STYLE, YOUR DIRECTION WAS CLEAR, YOU REMAIN ORIGINAL AND UNIQUE IN BOTH WORDING AND TOPIC AND THATS ENOUGH ASS KISSING...LOL

    GREAT WRITE
    LLCOLLINS

    PS....IF MY KNEW WRITE IS TOO LONG, READ IT ANYWAY...LOL...PLZZZ AND THANK U
    | Posted on 2006-08-19 00:00:00 | by L.L.COLLINS | [ Reply to This ]


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