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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Help Me Be An Angeldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Ensult
    ASL Info:    19/Male/New York
    Elite Ratio:    3.01 - 115/114/31
    Words: 101
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1413
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 628



    Description:
       I just felt like writing something religious for once. I had to come back to my roots for this one.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHelp Me Be An Angeldots
    -------------------------------------------


    Lay me in you're hands
    Walk me through my first steps
    Force my eyes into light
    Share the secrets of life with me
    Teach me how to love
    Give me wings to soar above corruption
    Guarantee that you will always be there
    Lord, I am your sheep
    Wipe my tears from my face
    Allow me to be Theophilus
    Help me to change the world
    Unify our hearts and minds
    Place me on your shoulders, father
    Reward me with your prescence
    Lend me my life and I'll give it back gladly
    God if your there
    Help me be an Angel





    Submitted on 2004-05-20 07:44:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This write shows your heart and a longing for God that is most fragrant and envigorating. The theology is a little off-kilter because Mankind was created apart from the angels. That is why we are referred to as disciples or saints in the New Testament.

    The form was good and the flow was steady and enjoyable to read.
    | Posted on 2004-05-20 00:00:00 | by The Gadfly | [ Reply to This ]
      i always like reading poems about God and wanting Him in our life. i agree with the "bugs," but that is minor. the overall tone of this poem is hopeful and a reaching out to what is good. i love the line "Reward me with your presence." that is what it's all about, yes? thanks for this reminder!
    | Posted on 2004-05-20 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      as to the little bugs paint referred to: Place me on your shoulders father should have a comma between shoulders and father; Lord I am your sheep should have a comma between Lord and I; God if your there, your should be you're. Other than that, wonderful! It is very trancelike, so the grammar errors are important. I liked th idea, kind of reminds me of my poem Eternal Darkness, except in this poem you don't really know anything about the speaker, just what he/she wants to be. Perhas you could add in a little more pertaining to the speaker, it livens up the poem and makes it fuller and more interesting. ~Cora Windover
    | Posted on 2004-05-20 00:00:00 | by Cora Windover | [ Reply to This ]


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