Description: I just felt like writing something religious for once. I had to come back to my roots for this one.
Help Me Be An Angel -------------------------------------------
Lay me in you're hands
Walk me through my first steps
Force my eyes into light
Share the secrets of life with me
Teach me how to love
Give me wings to soar above corruption
Guarantee that you will always be there
Lord, I am your sheep
Wipe my tears from my face
Allow me to be Theophilus
Help me to change the world
Unify our hearts and minds
Place me on your shoulders, father
Reward me with your prescence
Lend me my life and I'll give it back gladly
God if your there
Help me be an Angel
This write shows your heart and a longing for God that is most fragrant and envigorating. The theology is a little off-kilter because Mankind was created apart from the angels. That is why we are referred to as disciples or saints in the New Testament.
The form was good and the flow was steady and enjoyable to read.
i always like reading poems about God and wanting Him in our life. i agree with the "bugs," but that is minor. the overall tone of this poem is hopeful and a reaching out to what is good. i love the line "Reward me with your presence." that is what it's all about, yes? thanks for this reminder!
as to the little bugs paint referred to: Place me on your shoulders father should have a comma between shoulders and father; Lord I am your sheep should have a comma between Lord and I; God if your there, your should be you're. Other than that, wonderful! It is very trancelike, so the grammar errors are important. I liked th idea, kind of reminds me of my poem Eternal Darkness, except in this poem you don't really know anything about the speaker, just what he/she wants to be. Perhas you could add in a little more pertaining to the speaker, it livens up the poem and makes it fuller and more interesting. ~Cora Windover