Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Another Decemberdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Liv2LoveThePain
    ASL Info:    19 - F - Philly
    Elite Ratio:    4.23 - 1527/1515/256
    Words: 103
    Class/Type: Poetry/BrokenHeart
    Total Views: 616
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 685



    Description:
       How about... get you own ideas, bitch.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAnother Decemberdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Winter falls so beautifully,
    only when you're next to me.

    Slash the light out with my name.
    Sharpen your heart on my pain.

    Drip into the blood I gave.
    Turn away the souls you saved.

    Take my thoughts away from me.
    Throw them back so carelessly.

    Memorize the words I speak.
    Night is closing; dark and deep.

    Say "I love you" in reverse.
    Shove me back into that hearse.

    Tears hang from this silent hill.
    All the air around is still.

    I'll leave if you want me to,
    'cause I don't want to be with you.




    Submitted on 2006-08-20 01:52:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is absolutely wonderful as always. Im suck on the description. What Bitch? You can get back to me on that. Anyway your so talented. I originally read this because i have a poem that isnt the same but mine say "just another gray december" Not quite about the same things though.

    "Slash the light out with my name.
    Sharpen your heart on my pain."

    that was so beautifully said. I love the way you write.


    ~Samm
    | Posted on 2006-09-19 00:00:00 | by LoveToHateMe | [ Reply to This ]
      I can't take this two in a row! Your the one I have been looking for , for such a long time!
    Winters heart break. Your poem brings tears to my eyes and fear to my soul. I think I will add this one too? Your the poets dream and the song writer note . One could not ask for more.
    Great Write!!!
    Kelley Frost
    | Posted on 2006-08-24 00:00:00 | by whendt | [ Reply to This ]
      My December. That's the best linkin park song, ever; and one of my favorites period. And Silent Hill is awesome too. I like the inspiration. Lifes a [censored]; than you die; so smack the [censored] out life while you can! You know sometimes caring can have an adverse affect. Sometimes your writes are dare I say tainted(i need to find a new word, but it worx so well) I love them, but feel like an ass for doing so since I care. OH, well I'm bound to feel like shyt anyways, might as well give myself a legitimate reason and some pleasure while I'm at it. Soon you'll find someone as medicated as you, who understands you, and loves you.(aside from me, cause I kinda live over here and you over there; so yeah) As usual very well done(i imagine that's gotta get old, after some time)
    | Posted on 2006-08-20 00:00:00 | by dismentled | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey there, Nikki. How's things? I was drifting around the site and thought I'd read some of your stuff. I saw that there were no comments on this one, so I figured I'd leave one.
    I like the few images you use here: "tears... silent hill," "slash/light," etc. They're the strongest parts of the poem. It's always better to show than tell, I've heard. It might improve the poem if you could replace some of the descriptions of your emotions with images that symbolize those feelings.
    The structure of the piece made me think it might be a set of lyrics for a song, is that right? Anyway, I liked this one. Also, I hope this comment is helpful in some way.

    Keep writing,
    -Chris
    | Posted on 2006-08-20 00:00:00 | by DevilDinosaur | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    115125

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Dream written by closetpoet
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    In a Corner written by jeniecel

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry