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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Snapshots of Irelanddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: comradenessie
    Elite Ratio:    6.5 - 626/539/110
    Words: 66
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1249
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 549



    Description:
       Experimenting with something different. I don't know if these work. The first was inspired by a visit to the Post Office site of the 1916, Easter Rising. The second was inspired by Kilmainham jail where the leaders of the Rising were shot. The third concerns the notorious Hell Fire Club where rakes use to drink, play cards and generally behave as rakes did. The last is about an estate in Dublin. Love to know what people think.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSnapshots of Irelanddots
    -------------------------------------------


    Ierne

    emerald grass dreams
    of Easter Risings, long gone:
    yellow in the sun


    Kilmainham Jail

    patriot's last thoughts:
    dreams of freedom reshaped to
    metal memories



    Hell Fire Club

    litter-filled relic:
    where, looking down on Dublin,
    the devil played cards



    Clondalkin Youth

    their teenage years lost
    to the prick of a needle,
    killing tomorrow




    Submitted on 2006-08-20 08:20:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      it reads like snapshots of tragedy, like a tv documentary montage of black and white photos accompanied by melancholic music and we see the passion in patriots dreamy eyes fade into drug-addiction and that nowhere land where ideology has been replaced by apathy as freedom from english rule hasn't led to a glorious ireland but just another modern uselessly rich society.

    but then there's the rainbow in the photo and the memory of patriots and that spirit that still lingers on in residues of a huge history and means that thing can get better and there is enough strength and bravery to overcome current problems as there was to overcome yesterdays.

    as for advice - perhaps i'd give the first stanza a title like the rest have, just for the sake of visual balance. but really, it works without one, so it's entirely up to you.

    and thanks for sharing - you and sel are doing a great job of making up my mind to visit ireland when i have the chance.

    Adam
    | Posted on 2006-08-21 00:00:00 | by Icarus | [ Reply to This ]
      I feel like you've taken snapshots of life itself although it might be only snapshots of what inspired you to write this. I was always inspired to go to Ireland but unfortunately i cannot go half way around the world just because i want to go there...Hopefully one day though.

    But still, i thought that this highlighted the history of Ireland and what people have struggled through and what people have lost and how people have represented themselves and what they thought their lives were about. It's actually almost sad to even read although there were so little words said. Still, i felt you've said a lot in just so little. There was much going on in your piece in my head.

    I really enjoyed reading this...It was inspiring to read.

    Take care....
    ~Irina
    | Posted on 2006-08-22 00:00:00 | by charmedidentity | [ Reply to This ]
      Ah this piece goes straight to my heart. I'm !00% Irish...my great grandparents came over to the states when my grandpa was just a baby. So naturally I take great pride in my Irish heritage.

    I try to keep very up to date with the happenings in both N. and S. Ireland. I do indeed agree with gd66uk, in that Ireland is an amazingly beautiful place with it's fair share of problems.But I guess the same could be said for any country.

    Anyway, lovely piece. I enjoyed reading.
    | Posted on 2006-08-20 00:00:00 | by Juliets_dagger | [ Reply to This ]
      Emerald grass dreams
    of Easter Risings, long gone
    yellow in the sun.



    Kilmainham Jail

    Patriots last thoughts
    Dreams of freedom reshaped to
    metal memories.



    Hell Fire Club

    Litter filled relic,
    where, looking down on Dublin
    the devil played cards.



    Clondalkin Youth

    Their teenage years lost
    to the prick of a needle
    that kills tomorrow.


    If it's possible for a perpetual struggle for freedom to degenerate into the mindless self destruction of a generation that's lost touch with its heritage (regardless of how bloody that heritage may be), then this describes that outcome. What could be more befitting 'mad Ireland' than its youth sacrificing themselves for no reason when so many before held powerful convictions meant to free future generations to become what they could not? The sequence of each brief strophe and the pinpoint accuracy of each observation do not appear in any way random; bottom line, blood sacrifices of the idealist have given way to painfully depressing sacrifices of escapism and hedonism. In an odd way, both come to the same conclusion, but only the former appear to have done so for noble reasons (a little dance with the 'devil' in a pub goes a long way, apparently).


    Nicely done, comrade.
    Sorry I couldn't be of more help.
    Take care.
    Bill.

    | Posted on 2006-08-20 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]
      like stations on a Irish Rosary...
    beautiful...
    koster
    | Posted on 2006-08-20 00:00:00 | by koster | [ Reply to This ]
      i have visited northern ireland ,its a beautiful place with more than its fair share of not so beautiful problems.You cunjured up a sombre powerful image of the issues of the people of northern ireland with only guns and needles as their future,although sadly this is a scenaro found most commonly in most western cities across the world now. And you wrote it beautifully i particularly like the 3rd stanza as my favourite one. thanks for sharing
    Graham
    | Posted on 2006-08-20 00:00:00 | by gd66uk | [ Reply to This ]
      Yea Ness, find a title for your first sen-ryu... it looks all lonesome without one... how about something like "Ierne"? To me, that signifies the old Celtic Ireland... just a thought.

    That first one introduces the politics... what with the "Easter Rising" and all... emerald grass which is indicative of Ireland turning yellow in the sun, which signifies perhaps memories of this event fading...

    The second one conjures images of IRA soldiers rotting away in jail for their beliefs, hence the "metal memories".

    The third: of scoundrels gambling away in dens, the rich but depraved nobility perhaps?

    And the fourth: images of teens in the city injecting themselves with heroin to escape... everything.

    Was I close? Just my interpretations...

    Peace,

    Jase

    | Posted on 2006-08-21 00:00:00 | by alteredlife | [ Reply to This ]


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