Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Yesterday's Smile


Author: Liv2LoveThePain
ASL Info:    19 - F - Philly
Elite Ratio:    4.23 - 1527 /1515 /256
Words: 111
Class/Type: Poetry /Nostalgia
Total Views: 1047
Average Vote:    4.5000
Bytes: 828



Description:




Yesterday's Smile



Those days are no more.
We've built death in dreams.
Tomorrow was taken
from what it once seemed.

Then windows, like doors,
closed on a whim.
Silence is cracking
to pieces of him.
Can't say I miss it,
yesterday's smile.
Feelings of liars
echo for miles.

Lift up that camera.
Capture the grave.
Cold, unforgiving
photographs saved...

But none are of us.
Stick-figures in gray
are all I remember
of those moonlit days.
Developed too late,
then everything shook.
He pulled off my halo
with only a look.

Those days are no more.
We sent them away,
then brought death to life.
Now no good can stay.




Submitted on 2006-08-20 13:13:20     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  Your so awesome. Amazing. I dont have time to say much but i loved this.

ill seeyou later.
| Posted on 2006-09-14 00:00:00 | by LoveToHateMe | [ Reply to This ]
  "Those days are no more.
We've built death in dreams.
Tomorrow was taken
from what it once seemed."

IT's so simply put; yet; it's just breathtaking. I absolutely love those lines! It's amazing sometimes that a write can sem so simple yet, you'd never come up with it; I still dont quite get that. This seems to contrast that last write of yours. I can only imagine why; especailly after talking to you :)

"Lift up that camera.
Capture the grave.
Cold, unforgiving
photographs saved..."

that was clever, I liked that! You made me smile! Shame on you!!tsk tsk, now what am I gonna do with myself, god damnit!

| Posted on 2006-08-20 00:00:00 | by dismentled | [ Reply to This ]
  Very nice. I thought to whole "we brought death to life" thing at the end was very good. Really enjoyed that one. Urgh, I think I've commented on so many people's stuff today that I'm running out of opinions for people. I have comment's block. Dammit.
I do, however, agree with a lot of what dismentled said, everything about this poem was simply put for such a complicated subject. It was near shocking in a way, just not that dramatic.
Sorry for the lame comment, I'm really tired, lol, peace...

*tox*
| Posted on 2006-08-20 00:00:00 | by Toxic_Rayne | [ Reply to This ]
  I Loved it, it has this flow that just like brings it together along with the exceptional way you have of descriptions! I am going to try and put this as a favorite if I can figure it out! but really good job now Id like to read more of your writings so Im off!Keep up the good work!
carol
| Posted on 2006-08-25 00:00:00 | by carolspencer707 | [ Reply to This ]
  This was very good and I shall add it to my fav's! How did such a poem come to ones mind? I think you have put most of mankinds thought back on track? I bet you look both ways when you get back into the water of life?
Anyway this was something everyone should read a clasic poem for the ages!
Kelley Frost
| Posted on 2006-08-24 00:00:00 | by whendt | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



115157