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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Yesterday's Smiledots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Liv2LoveThePain
    ASL Info:    19 - F - Philly
    Elite Ratio:    4.23 - 1527/1515/256
    Words: 111
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nostalgia
    Total Views: 795
    Average Vote:    4.5000
    Bytes: 828



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsYesterday's Smiledots
    -------------------------------------------


    Those days are no more.
    We've built death in dreams.
    Tomorrow was taken
    from what it once seemed.

    Then windows, like doors,
    closed on a whim.
    Silence is cracking
    to pieces of him.
    Can't say I miss it,
    yesterday's smile.
    Feelings of liars
    echo for miles.

    Lift up that camera.
    Capture the grave.
    Cold, unforgiving
    photographs saved...

    But none are of us.
    Stick-figures in gray
    are all I remember
    of those moonlit days.
    Developed too late,
    then everything shook.
    He pulled off my halo
    with only a look.

    Those days are no more.
    We sent them away,
    then brought death to life.
    Now no good can stay.




    Submitted on 2006-08-20 13:13:20     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Your so awesome. Amazing. I dont have time to say much but i loved this.

    ill seeyou later.
    | Posted on 2006-09-14 00:00:00 | by LoveToHateMe | [ Reply to This ]
      "Those days are no more.
    We've built death in dreams.
    Tomorrow was taken
    from what it once seemed."

    IT's so simply put; yet; it's just breathtaking. I absolutely love those lines! It's amazing sometimes that a write can sem so simple yet, you'd never come up with it; I still dont quite get that. This seems to contrast that last write of yours. I can only imagine why; especailly after talking to you :)

    "Lift up that camera.
    Capture the grave.
    Cold, unforgiving
    photographs saved..."

    that was clever, I liked that! You made me smile! Shame on you!!tsk tsk, now what am I gonna do with myself, god damnit!

    | Posted on 2006-08-20 00:00:00 | by dismentled | [ Reply to This ]
      Very nice. I thought to whole "we brought death to life" thing at the end was very good. Really enjoyed that one. Urgh, I think I've commented on so many people's stuff today that I'm running out of opinions for people. I have comment's block. Dammit.
    I do, however, agree with a lot of what dismentled said, everything about this poem was simply put for such a complicated subject. It was near shocking in a way, just not that dramatic.
    Sorry for the lame comment, I'm really tired, lol, peace...

    *tox*
    | Posted on 2006-08-20 00:00:00 | by Toxic_Rayne | [ Reply to This ]
      I Loved it, it has this flow that just like brings it together along with the exceptional way you have of descriptions! I am going to try and put this as a favorite if I can figure it out! but really good job now Id like to read more of your writings so Im off!Keep up the good work!
    carol
    | Posted on 2006-08-25 00:00:00 | by carolspencer707 | [ Reply to This ]
      This was very good and I shall add it to my fav's! How did such a poem come to ones mind? I think you have put most of mankinds thought back on track? I bet you look both ways when you get back into the water of life?
    Anyway this was something everyone should read a clasic poem for the ages!
    Kelley Frost
    | Posted on 2006-08-24 00:00:00 | by whendt | [ Reply to This ]


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    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
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