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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: I'lldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Foreseer
    ASL Info:    20/F/In Love
    Elite Ratio:    2.73 - 156/86/23
    Words: 130
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1153
    Average Vote:    4.5000
    Bytes: 775



    Description:
       ...I don't think I meant for it to rhyme, just thinking I guess.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI'lldots
    -------------------------------------------


    I'll hold you hand,
    til your fears subside.
    I'll hold your hand,
    til the end of time.
    I'll hold your hand,
    til the noise fades away.
    I'll hold you hand,
    will you hold mine?

    I'll care for you,
    til it all stops someday.
    I'll care for you,
    til you close your eyes.
    I'll care for you,
    til the sky falls down.
    I'll care for you,
    will you care for me?

    I'll open your eyes
    to the beauty within
    I'll open your eyes
    to see the soul fly away.
    I'll open your eyes
    to the truth of time.
    I'll open your eyes
    will you close mine?




    Submitted on 2006-08-20 14:23:13     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      the last stanza was profound...especially the last verse. i 'unno how to explain it. it just got me thinking...that's what i mean.

    the repetition here was what gave feel to the poem...if you get what i'm saying. i like the way it was used. it wouldn't be the same and give the same effect without the repetition.

    good job! very well written! very cute!!! can't think of anything else to say, just that I LOVED IT! i'm faving it.
    i want a cute guy to say that to me too. lolz.


    keep up the good work!
    | Posted on 2007-11-19 00:00:00 | by allyn d. | [ Reply to This ]
      a sweet poem, i really liked it - repetition aside i thought it was great, i cant wait to read more

    ~lou~
    | Posted on 2006-08-20 00:00:00 | by elseibi | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked this...it was sweet! so good work!

    Brittany
    | Posted on 2006-08-20 00:00:00 | by dark_secrets_ | [ Reply to This ]
      I do quite like this piece, but I'd try not to repeat TOO much.

    Great work though

    Maddy <3
    | Posted on 2006-08-20 00:00:00 | by welshgirlmaddy | [ Reply to This ]
      wow this is amazing
    i so romantic too
    haha
    and i also like the way you wrote
    repeating each line
    but ending it with something different
    (if that makes any sense haha)
    | Posted on 2006-08-25 00:00:00 | by Evonna Findley | [ Reply to This ]
      this is a very nice piece, but i have to agree, its gets very repetitive. nice sentiment tho'
    whirl**
    | Posted on 2006-08-20 00:00:00 | by whirl | [ Reply to This ]
      wow i love this...i want a cute guy to read this to me! lol very nice and well written
    | Posted on 2006-09-05 00:00:00 | by EmeRalDEyeZ5491 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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