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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: ** Excitement of the Nightdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Caotic_Disaster
    ASL Info:    16/F/Canada
    Elite Ratio:    4.03 - 447/349/148
    Words: 72
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 968
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 625



    Description:
       I'm not sure if I like the title. the words came a little forced, so if emotion seems lost, i'm sorry. Hope you enjoy.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots** Excitement of the Nightdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Footfall of many
    Mixtures of tints,
    Tones, colours
    Weaving together
    Colliding before a
    Sphere of gold
    Which lay at rest
    With the ocean's tide
    Confined in blackness
    Silence falls
    Breathing harmoniously
    Hushed, hushed
    Crash of colours
    Merging as wave to sand
    Then gone
    Explosions follow
    Red, orange, yellow
    Sighs of joy
    Blue, green, purple
    Assimilate with the caliginosity
    Exhale of drowsiness
    Stride of excitement burried
    Lost within the sky
    Til tomorrow dawns




    Submitted on 2006-08-20 18:27:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      It seems as if you have caught the universe in your hand. I can just imagine this night sky and the way you tie it in with the ocean's tide. I, also, like the way that you use sound as well as sight.

    Silence falls
    Breathing harmoniously
    Hushed, hushed
    Crash of colours
    Merging as wave to sand
    Then gone

    It's beautiful - well done.
    nessie
    | Posted on 2006-08-23 00:00:00 | by comradenessie | [ Reply to This ]
      Upon reading this, I was reminded of fireworks on the fouth of July and being with the one you love under the beautiful explosions of color. I don't think this poem is about that, but it is so good, I feel, when the reader interrpets a written poem different than intended. Isn't that what poetry is partly about? Up to the readers interpitation (Please excuse my spelling, that is a great problem I have). Anyways you have done a great job expressing love or being with the one you love in a creative way. Having the moments with your loved one be explosive and joyful. I like the color metaphors and your vague but understood feeling that this write is speaking. I hope I'm making sense to you, it's late and this seems to be an intense write, with wonderful metaphors and a balance with the underlining subject. Love.... Nicely written I must say....Molly
    | Posted on 2006-08-20 00:00:00 | by Molly Densmore | [ Reply to This ]
      I am not too sure where you are going with this, because I haven't slept decenlty for some time now. Anyways, from what I understood from this, you described a romantic scene very well. I liked the vast and beautiful imagery you created. I got a few messages near the end. You managed this really well. especially the end. Well written, and no nitpicking from me.


    Abbas
    | Posted on 2006-08-23 00:00:00 | by abuzzbuzz92 | [ Reply to This ]
      its like looking through your eyes into your mind at the sunset it made me all fuzzy inside :) im happy now i like your use of superiour vocab it added to the effect more gimmie more i like it :O

    Rak ^)
    | Posted on 2006-08-23 00:00:00 | by dark figure | [ Reply to This ]


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