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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Fallen Angeldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: bloodydreamer27
    Elite Ratio:    2.19 - 54/130/78
    Words: 162
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 926
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 939



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFallen Angeldots
    -------------------------------------------


    Depressed, hurt, and dead inside,
    And for some reason my love for you wont subside.
    I miss you and I love you but you keep screwing her,
    Everytime I think about it my eyes begin to blurr.

    I have always loved you, thats never changed,
    But the thought of you and her is making me deranged.
    I wanted you back for a while but not anymore,
    Because you keep screwing that dirty little whore.

    I'm going out with someone great but I can't love him,
    Because my love for you is making my heart grow dim.
    You're making me into something I never wanted to be,
    So a cold hearted bitch is now what people see.

    I said I was before but it was never true,
    But I am now because of what you put me through.
    You broke my heart, on it you did push and shove,
    Because your the fallen angel sent to kill me from above.




    Submitted on 2006-08-21 11:20:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      That was a great poem. It had a good flow too. I could feel the hurt and the anger just by reading this. It describes your feelings very well. I hate it when that happens, it's so sad.
    You're a great writer. Keep it up!

    ~*~ Lisa ~*~
    | Posted on 2006-08-21 00:00:00 | by Nani | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a narrative poem. I find some words to be a bit to bare and raw for poetry but styles are not to be disscused. The rhyming is good but occasionaly when I read through it there is are subtle cuts in the flow of the rythm. Personaly, I deeply appreciate originality. Gothic, depressed and dark poetry is loaded with clichés which is one of the things I can't handle. Try forming inovative combinations a bit more. No hard feelings, it's just my POV.
    | Posted on 2006-08-25 00:00:00 | by Porcelaine | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a narrative poem. I find some words to be a bit to bare and raw for poetry but styles are not to be disscused. The rhyming is good but occasionaly when I read through it there are subtle cuts in the flow of the rythm. Personaly, I deeply appreciate originality. Gothic, depressed and dark poetry is loaded with clichés which is one of the things I can't handle. Try forming inovative combinations a bit more. No hard feelings, it's just my POV.
    | Posted on 2006-08-25 00:00:00 | by Porcelaine | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a narrative poem. I find some words to be a bit to bare and raw for poetry but styles are not to be disscused. The rhyming is good but occasionaly when I read through it there are subtle cuts in the flow of the rythm. Personaly, I deeply appreciate originality. Gothic, depressed and dark poetry is loaded with clichés which is one of the things I can't handle. Try forming inovative combinations a bit more. No hard feelings, it's just my POV.
    | Posted on 2006-08-25 00:00:00 | by Porcelaine | [ Reply to This ]


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