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My Extra Thorns

Author: LossOfHope03
ASL Info:    16/female/USA
Elite Ratio:    5.76 - 30 /29 /31
Words: 74
Class/Type: Poetry /Serious
Total Views: 817
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 443


this is basically about my doubt about trusting guys again. i'm working on a title so if you have a suggestion for the title or anything at all please let me know.

My Extra Thorns

You can take me
I'll be your rose,
Just know that I come with extra thorns.
But hold me close
Even promise me the world,
And as my thorns slowly fall
Let me go.
Push me out into the world,
See if I can make it on my own.
As I fall to the ground
I'll know its not your fault
But I'll still blame you
Afterall the real world
Is a big fall.

Submitted on 2006-08-21 15:30:13     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  I enjoyed this one. The raw truth, that we all have baggage, and your being totally true when you say listen, I have some baggage, and I'm not perfect to boot, go figure. So accept for who I am, appreciate me, and look past the ugly inside to find the good points of me too. I would not change the title, the title is what drew me in to read it. It's very intriguing. I would re word the ending, it didn't seem to ride a smooth as well as the rest. Not sure what I would say, but I would attempt to re word the ending somehow. It shows the obvious hope we all beg for, and trick ourselves into thinkin we have but, when we lay our selves down at night, and openly think we realize there are no rainbow's and sunshine all the time.
| Posted on 2006-08-22 00:00:00 | by Cinder7 | [ Reply to This ]
  hmm this is like when a bird/chick has to leave the nest it goes two ways you either fall to your death or you learn to fly as this poem goes it makes me feel like some one gave you a chance then pushed you out of the safty of the nest casuing you to die inside and its hard to recover from things like this if people repeat the process i know this pain as i fell from my nest and died many times and seem to be falling to yet another death i like this poem at lot as it made me feel real yet awaken this death/emotion in my mind this is a sad/lubly poem *yes i did mean to say lubly*

| Posted on 2006-09-11 00:00:00 | by dark figure | [ Reply to This ]

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