Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: I'm Gonna die youngdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: BenCollier
    Elite Ratio:    3.72 - 425/386/88
    Words: 142
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Serious
    Total Views: 935
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 934



    Description:
       Perhaps a country song? Anyone out there know a band that wants to buy it? Or if it sucks.... never mind.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI'm Gonna die youngdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I spent too much on a doctor bill
    Sittin in her office, got news that wouldn't thrill
    Even the strongest person of heart and soul
    Would take this news and their blood would run cold

    CHORUS:
    I'm gonna die young
    Cause I lead a bad life
    I'm gonna die young
    I know it'll upset my wife

    BRIDGE:
    I eat too much
    And smoke all day
    For a healthy lifestyle
    Thats not the way
    Don't wanna do what people say
    Good for you foods taste like hay

    I grew up eating anything I want
    Fried foods and sweets in any fancy restaurant
    Started smoking when I was a young teen
    Quit a few times and did drugs in between

    CHORUS:
    I'm gonna die young
    It'll be a short life
    I'm gonna die young
    Because of all the strife




    Submitted on 2006-08-21 18:46:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      That is a country song. I read it and then read it backwards and I felt young again. Yup, if you read it backwards, you'll get your health back and you and your wife will be happy. Like that Bob guy on the Enzyte commercials!

    This was chillingly frightening and funny at the same time...but thats probably cuz I'm gettin old too.

    | Posted on 2006-08-22 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
      I thought this was good and if the corus was sung twice though It would make a soog song, well it may just have to be sung once, but the tune I was going with it sounded good twice. But resally overall, it isn;t all that bad for a song!
    | Posted on 2006-08-21 00:00:00 | by samyalone | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    115310

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Cover written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    prison written by ShyOne
    Records I written by Raphael

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry