[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: thinkdots

    Author: every48seconds
    ASL Info:    25/M/toronto
    Elite Ratio:    3.32 - 123/163/129
    Words: 202
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Angry
    Total Views: 609
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1210

       i got mad at someone.noticed i could write about it and well heres the outcome

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    corruption of the mind...

    even though we all claim that it never happend to us

    it has already taken hold on humanity
    we kill each other and for what ?

    money,power,respect or do we just get our sick giggles out of it

    And sex,the thing that we as humans are only to do with the one that we care about the most,someone that we plan on living with,marring,growing together and even love through the afterlife.

    but now who are we?

    We sell it like its nothing,we do it just for pleasure,but we can all lie and say were innocent?!

    Parents and there children wanting death for each other,mass murdering of people who haven't done much to provoke anyone and why?,because of the stupidity of our government

    but who are we to call stupid when it is we who gave them there power in this world.

    We created our own desease infested coffin,yet we force others to lie down as we seal it shut

    Even i,as i speak these words with pain have done something in someway to damn mindkind

    corruption of the mind will eventually lead to my silent suicide....

    Submitted on 2006-08-23 10:39:13     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      ok I would watch out for words that sound the same but have very different meanings. that's my only critique.
    As for the write itself, we gave them power and hopefully one day people as a whole will realize that the power is not absolute and can be taken away and reestablished. Hang in there, change has to be coming there is so much more that people are reaching out about and conditions are only worsening, the sure sign of a rebellion, I hope only that it is not so far away that we stand together and fight the I am too old or dead to partake. I agree completely that we have all contributed to the destruction of mother earth and her child, mankind. I rest easier, however, knowing that some have contributed more than others. Like I said though, things have to be bad for people to want something good.

    Blessed Be
    | Posted on 2008-12-24 00:00:00 | by SDodson | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow... That was... Powerful. Good job. It was not only really good but really powerful. The grammar is you need to clean up and it's amazing.
    I loved it. Good job :)
    | Posted on 2006-08-23 00:00:00 | by Pabapfc | [ Reply to This ]
      Well wrote, it gives a bit of insight into our world.
    Spelling, yes is wrong but that is just a technacality.
    Everyone makes mistakes.
    Write on.
    | Posted on 2006-08-23 00:00:00 | by Valle_Siddious | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Formal Jen written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Yes written by poetotoe
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Etiquette written by saartha
    untitled written by ShyOne
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    prison written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    the testing of hypotheses written by Daniel Barlow
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    Every..... written by jackz
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    Carry written by saartha
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    an unashamed poverty written by Daniel Barlow
    a mood to be free written by Daniel Barlow
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Fasade written by jackz
    Cover written by saartha
    Records I written by Raphael
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]