Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: thinkdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: every48seconds
    ASL Info:    25/M/toronto
    Elite Ratio:    3.32 - 123/163/129
    Words: 202
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Angry
    Total Views: 623
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1210



    Description:
       i got mad at someone.noticed i could write about it and well heres the outcome


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsthinkdots
    -------------------------------------------


    corruption of the mind...

    even though we all claim that it never happend to us

    it has already taken hold on humanity
    we kill each other and for what ?

    money,power,respect or do we just get our sick giggles out of it

    And sex,the thing that we as humans are only to do with the one that we care about the most,someone that we plan on living with,marring,growing together and even love through the afterlife.

    but now who are we?

    We sell it like its nothing,we do it just for pleasure,but we can all lie and say were innocent?!

    Parents and there children wanting death for each other,mass murdering of people who haven't done much to provoke anyone and why?,because of the stupidity of our government

    but who are we to call stupid when it is we who gave them there power in this world.

    We created our own desease infested coffin,yet we force others to lie down as we seal it shut

    Even i,as i speak these words with pain have done something in someway to damn mindkind

    corruption of the mind will eventually lead to my silent suicide....




    Submitted on 2006-08-23 10:39:13     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      ok I would watch out for words that sound the same but have very different meanings. that's my only critique.
    As for the write itself, we gave them power and hopefully one day people as a whole will realize that the power is not absolute and can be taken away and reestablished. Hang in there, change has to be coming there is so much more that people are reaching out about and conditions are only worsening, the sure sign of a rebellion, I hope only that it is not so far away that we stand together and fight the I am too old or dead to partake. I agree completely that we have all contributed to the destruction of mother earth and her child, mankind. I rest easier, however, knowing that some have contributed more than others. Like I said though, things have to be bad for people to want something good.

    Blessed Be
    | Posted on 2008-12-24 00:00:00 | by SDodson | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow... That was... Powerful. Good job. It was not only really good but really powerful. The grammar is you need to clean up and it's amazing.
    I loved it. Good job :)
    -Missy
    | Posted on 2006-08-23 00:00:00 | by Pabapfc | [ Reply to This ]
      Well wrote, it gives a bit of insight into our world.
    Spelling, yes is wrong but that is just a technacality.
    Everyone makes mistakes.
    Write on.
    | Posted on 2006-08-23 00:00:00 | by Valle_Siddious | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    115491

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Fasade written by jackz
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Every..... written by jackz
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    untitled written by Chelebel
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Break Up written by WriteSomething
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    True Death written by layDsayD
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    Brigit written by endlessgame23

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry