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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: thinkdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: every48seconds
    ASL Info:    25/M/toronto
    Elite Ratio:    3.32 - 123/163/129
    Words: 202
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Angry
    Total Views: 609
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1210



    Description:
       i got mad at someone.noticed i could write about it and well heres the outcome


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsthinkdots
    -------------------------------------------


    corruption of the mind...

    even though we all claim that it never happend to us

    it has already taken hold on humanity
    we kill each other and for what ?

    money,power,respect or do we just get our sick giggles out of it

    And sex,the thing that we as humans are only to do with the one that we care about the most,someone that we plan on living with,marring,growing together and even love through the afterlife.

    but now who are we?

    We sell it like its nothing,we do it just for pleasure,but we can all lie and say were innocent?!

    Parents and there children wanting death for each other,mass murdering of people who haven't done much to provoke anyone and why?,because of the stupidity of our government

    but who are we to call stupid when it is we who gave them there power in this world.

    We created our own desease infested coffin,yet we force others to lie down as we seal it shut

    Even i,as i speak these words with pain have done something in someway to damn mindkind

    corruption of the mind will eventually lead to my silent suicide....




    Submitted on 2006-08-23 10:39:13     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      ok I would watch out for words that sound the same but have very different meanings. that's my only critique.
    As for the write itself, we gave them power and hopefully one day people as a whole will realize that the power is not absolute and can be taken away and reestablished. Hang in there, change has to be coming there is so much more that people are reaching out about and conditions are only worsening, the sure sign of a rebellion, I hope only that it is not so far away that we stand together and fight the I am too old or dead to partake. I agree completely that we have all contributed to the destruction of mother earth and her child, mankind. I rest easier, however, knowing that some have contributed more than others. Like I said though, things have to be bad for people to want something good.

    Blessed Be
    | Posted on 2008-12-24 00:00:00 | by SDodson | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow... That was... Powerful. Good job. It was not only really good but really powerful. The grammar is you need to clean up and it's amazing.
    I loved it. Good job :)
    -Missy
    | Posted on 2006-08-23 00:00:00 | by Pabapfc | [ Reply to This ]
      Well wrote, it gives a bit of insight into our world.
    Spelling, yes is wrong but that is just a technacality.
    Everyone makes mistakes.
    Write on.
    | Posted on 2006-08-23 00:00:00 | by Valle_Siddious | [ Reply to This ]


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