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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Nothing Left to Losedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Aknahlij_d 1
    ASL Info:    17/Male/Loueezy
    Elite Ratio:    3.52 - 369/516/136
    Words: 206
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 1264
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1143



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsNothing Left to Losedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Its hard when you have to watch the music die
    When you see the tide rise over the city high and downtown gritty types
    I'm of the state of mind that has me up late at night crying over my shitty life
    despite my overbite and loss of tight friends
    I knew the hi would end once the midget on stage made a stand
    I've lost everything once and I'm losing it again
    Jumped off the deep end with a cannonball and letter written with a red fountain pen
    Its the same shit just a different day
    Crying like a child, the only difference is a different age
    me and lucky must've been on different pages from other chapters
    We're both acting since its the only way we can impact each other
    I'm past waiting for you lady luck
    You were a bitch to me for 17 long ones so why now should I give a fuck?
    You can't answer me, you never could, I bet you would
    If the ass I rode in on was any good
    Listen, until then I'll sit on this stool in this saloon with a grin cause my sins are all i have left to lose since i lost you




    Submitted on 2006-08-23 11:48:19     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I really like this kiddo. Despite what inspired it, it's good to see you write like this every now and then.

    "Its hard when you have to watch the music die" ~ I like this a lot. If you're anything like you were when we were close, which I think you are, I can see this as the end of something good, whether good be familiar, routine, happy, fun, etc. Like graduation perhaps?

    "Jumped off the deep end with a cannonball and letter written with a red fountain pen" ~ I don't actually have any idea what you personally meant by this, but I like the idea of it.

    "Listen, until then I'll sit on this stool in this saloon with a grin cause my sins are all i have left to lose since i lost you" ~ In my opinion, this is the deepest/most philosophical part of this piece. It could be interpretted a number of ways. Intriguing.

    Love ya tons kiddo! We gotta catch up!
    Hannah
    | Posted on 2006-09-28 00:00:00 | by AngelOutlaw | [ Reply to This ]
      Screw luck. What happens is because of what choices we made (either now, or back when...). What really sucks is when we make the wrong choice or like the wrong people for the wrong reasons. Got to take it like a man or go back to school. Just make sure that the choices are of your own choosing--don't be dancin' to someone else's tune. If it's wrong, admit it. If it's right, roll around in it and wear it for awhile, because it won't last. I like your style of writing and hope to see more of this kind of reflection, John.
    | Posted on 2006-08-23 00:00:00 | by coyote | [ Reply to This ]
      Dude...this is one weird poem...
    It's a bit explicit than I'm used to, but that's probably because it is based on actual events...am I right? am I wrong?

    I am not the one to judge, God knows how my life is messed-up especially these days, but personally I do not believe in luck, I believe that everything happens for a reason...

    When things are bad it's hard to keep and open mind, and it's hard to be optimistic, all I do is keep hoping that things will eventually get better...

    They say that "The darkest hour is that before the dawn", and I believe that, nothing lasts forever whether good or bad...the wheel must turn someday...

    I hope that my words did not offend you in any way, I'm just saying what I think that's all...

    PS:
    Don't you think that this poem should be better categorized as "Angest" rather than "Longing"?

    best regards,
    Yaser Hani (aka Beast)
    | Posted on 2006-08-23 00:00:00 | by Beast | [ Reply to This ]
      what a [censored] weird ass. it's cool the way ur never ashamed to admit how emotional u are. for most guys that's pretty hard. u always bare ur soul in ur poetry. ill [censored]
    | Posted on 2006-08-24 00:00:00 | by unknown soldier | [ Reply to This ]


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