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    dots Submission Name: painfull lovedots

    Author: girly101
    Elite Ratio:    3.79 - 292/310/149
    Words: 122
    Class/Type: Misc/Death
    Total Views: 679
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 684


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    dotspainfull lovedots

    she screams and shouts but no sound comes out

    a blow to the face sends her crashing to the ground
    a freshly fallen sheet of snow lie beneath her as she hit without sound

    crimson blood mixes in to the once vergin white snow

    the pains intence and the pressures murder
    but her worst pain ly in her heart

    her head screams and calls out for her to leave
    but her heart says no I can not go and leave the man I love

    so trembling she stands and heads for him and as he leaps on her crashing her against the car and her final breath escapes her lips
    she whispears I love you

    Submitted on 2006-08-23 15:35:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      this was... interesting. grammar is a must to fix, but i suppose thats old news now huh? if anything, it would make for a good story. wish i had more to say but this one didnt hit me as hard. :(
    | Posted on 2010-09-17 00:00:00 | by Thief | [ Reply to This ]
      This is sad....
    i like it but the form is not quite right and maybe you could check some of your spelling too
    but otherwise i think this peice is screaming out emotions that will touch many people so good job
    | Posted on 2006-08-23 00:00:00 | by Star | [ Reply to This ]

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