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I was handed this pen.
Stuck it into my veins.
All these words, all this sorrow,
Drowning, flowing out of me.
My arm growing weak.
Sick and tired of writing poetry.
The danger the poetry left behind.
With this pen sinking into my heart,
this poetry is killing me.
No one sees the danger behind all poetry.
Because everyone dares, to take the risk of poetry.
| This doesn't really explain why poetry is dangerous. The idea is original. Also, there is no flow and it was hard to read. I think that if you go in more depth and fix the flow, you could have a really good and original poem. |
|| Posted on 2007-07-10 00:00:00 | by Katana Ryoko | [ Reply to This ] || I really like this, not just because it was good, but because it raises the question of what is good for us and what is harmful. Poetry can be a tool for healing for some, but it can also be a pain when forced or when it becomes a drug, something you can't get away from.|
|| Posted on 2007-05-02 00:00:00 | by hey.you | [ Reply to This ] || This is very good. Here I go with the redundancy again, but I don't think you need to repeat the word Poetry. I agree with everyone about the originality of this piece. This reminds me of a poem I wrote personifying Words.|
|| Posted on 2007-01-23 00:00:00 | by nicelyJ | [ Reply to This ] || i like it.|
it is completely original and it brings to surface many ideas about the art of writing and expression.
|| Posted on 2007-01-03 00:00:00 | by itsjustme22 | [ Reply to This ] || Kinda strange and it seems a bit jarring (no idea if that's the flow you'd been going for) Though I have to give you points for it being original I just can't really get into it. It doesn't really flow and seems to not be that well thought out.||| Posted on 2006-12-11 00:00:00 | by Akili | [ Reply to This ] || Unlike most people, I use a pencil..probably would stick it in my brain or something. Poetry is dangerous? I like your thinking. Fresh perspective and whatnot. |
|| Posted on 2006-11-25 00:00:00 | by Azuire | [ Reply to This ] || If more people looked at it this way we would have no poetry. LOL I really liked this one it was kind of sad to me?|
|| Posted on 2006-10-26 00:00:00 | by whendt | [ Reply to This ] || i loved it. i can relate because i was once handed a pen and told by my teacher to write. so of course i wrote about hating writing. it was publised in a magazine about two months later starting my poetry career. kudos, friend, kudos|
|| Posted on 2006-10-15 00:00:00 | by Max R. | [ Reply to This ] || i loved it. i can relate because i was once handed a pen and told by my teacher to write. so of course i wrote about hating writing. it was publised in a magazine about two months later starting my poetry career. kudos, friend, kudos|
|| Posted on 2006-10-15 00:00:00 | by Max R. | [ Reply to This ] || Its really good and defanatly unique! And I dare say that almost evvery one here can agree and relate with it. Outstanding work. |
|| Posted on 2006-10-11 00:00:00 | by D.C.M. | [ Reply to This ] || We were all handed the pen, but no one forces us to write, except ourselves...|
|| Posted on 2006-10-04 00:00:00 | by Nihilist Weasel | [ Reply to This ] || I agree with EL. It is very original. I've never really thought of poetry as dangerous, but as safe becuase it helps people release their feelings rather then having them trapped inside or used in a physical manner against someone. But I guess in a way I do agree with you because sometimes when you read someones poetry it makes you depressed and stuff. I'm going to stop before I start making no sense at all, if that hasn't already happended. Good job and continue to write. |
|| Posted on 2006-08-31 00:00:00 | by Caotic_Disaster | [ Reply to This ] || I like this because it is unlike anything I have read before...yet still i have felt this way so I can understand this. very well written.||| Posted on 2006-08-24 00:00:00 | by EL | [ Reply to This ] || yea, this was undoubtably unique and it's a point that I"m glad someone made, because I feel it's often overlooked when people are actually writing....I can see both sides of this, there are worse releases of that pain and there are, I suppose, better ones too. but just as easily as writing something can lower your stress it might depress or even just sincerely change someone else's thoughts/opinions on whatever it is you were writing about.....or even, say months from now you look back at something you wrote and remember how much pain you were in. so basically I can see your point and I can see a few other standpoints too, I did like this write a lot thought.|
|| Posted on 2006-09-03 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ] |