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    dots Submission Name: ASYLUMdots

    Author: Porcelaine
    ASL Info:    27/F/Croatia
    Elite Ratio:    3.9 - 880/703/256
    Words: 119
    Class/Type: Poetry/Legend
    Total Views: 931
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 873

       Fantasy is my genre of choice. These are the forces that sometimes build fantasy from it's foundations.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Dream asleep and dream awake
    Nightmare Child you’re now forsake
    Sin of beauty, vow in vain
    Silent now, you strain in pain.

    Tempest, you, so fierce a force
    Gore, destroy with no remorse
    As beautiful as cruel you are
    Annihilation gray by far.

    Renegade of this wide land
    Footsteps blown away with sand
    Skies are kind to those who seek
    To be the strongest when they’re weak.

    Creed, you burn in others flame
    Forlorn, you renounce your reign
    Single heart, a beat, a thought
    Cannot stand for what they fought.

    Revenant, the souls descend
    Bear the future, grieve, amend
    End of seasons ‘fore a storm
    Died in blood, in blood reborn.

    Submitted on 2006-08-25 02:32:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      alot of creative thought way to use imagination, ty
    | Posted on 2009-02-27 00:00:00 | by ty | [ Reply to This ]
      I dont see why you put spaces between the verses other than so people could read it easier. Still i do enjoy the sense of isolation. You seem to have listed several aspects of people who would be isolated as well as the title would sugest. Introvertness by describeing them as beautiful yet gray inside. as well as the word renegade. My favorite line is died in blood in blood reborn. A fiting end to one who struggles to find themselves. I know these are founding ideas for fantasty but of course they all are in common in the hero or protagonist searching or struggling to acheive some goal. Good job
    | Posted on 2007-07-17 00:00:00 | by Seraphim X | [ Reply to This ]
      I really enjoyed this poem. Mainly the flow, and the imagery. It would just be really nice for some sort of description besides your genre of choice, because many of your poems can be quite confusing to the common reader, like myself. Good write though.
    | Posted on 2006-10-09 00:00:00 | by jlpurvis2001 | [ Reply to This ]
      I loved the flow of this poem! It rolled off the tounge like a good wine. Thanks for sharring such great work!!!
    Kelley Frost
    | Posted on 2006-10-02 00:00:00 | by whendt | [ Reply to This ]
      That was pretty damn awsome dude. The only real problem I see with this is that second stanza, I think you should redo it, it just doesn't flow like the rest of the poem.. beside that, I pretty much love it, gonna add it to my favorites. keep it up man.

    From the Darkest reflection,
    | Posted on 2006-08-25 00:00:00 | by Shadow_Mirror | [ Reply to This ]

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    January 10 07
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