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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: A Bitter-Sweet Goodbyedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Shadow_Mirror
    ASL Info:    23/m/CA
    Elite Ratio:    4.59 - 54/39/18
    Words: 62
    Class/Type: Poetry/Death
    Total Views: 1230
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 395



    Description:
       This is what I wrote for my mother the day I found out she was dying.... it is just straight from the heart,so it might not seem that good, but I cryed when I read it in the hospital with my family, it just seemed very approite then.... I hope you all enjoy..


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    dotsA Bitter-Sweet Goodbyedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Here we all are, weary of heart.
    mourning our mother, your sister, a very special friend.
    We've seen her laugh,
    and we've seen her cry,
    but now were all saying our goodbyes.

    Although we all wish you were still here with us,
    we hope you have found a happier place,
    and though you are gone,
    you memory will forever live on.




    Submitted on 2006-08-25 14:11:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      this wasn't badly written at all, on the contrary if you went back and re-worded it just to make it sound good I'm pretty sure it wouldn't have half the emotion, I'm sorry about your mom, I know what that's like. this is a really beautiful write in the most tragic sense of the word but is still very good none the less. I honestly can't imagine anything I would change, this was so easy to relate to and so completely honest, no one else could have written this with the exact same intent, it can't just be copied and altered, which I really love about it.
    ~jess
    | Posted on 2006-08-25 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a lovely and touching poem. I am so sorry to hear you lost your mom, I know how hard it is to lose people who are so close to you. I have lost the most important people in my life too, well, except for my mom. But I lost my father which was really hard and then quite a few others who I adored. I know this extreme sadness all too well and found this poem very easy to relate to. This is very heartfelt and there is nothing I would change about this. When you speak from the heart this way, nobody should suggest you change a thing. This is very lovely and very sad. I am sure that reading this that day was a most difficult thing to do.

    Lorna
    | Posted on 2006-08-25 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      it must have been hard for you to write this, with all the emotions you must have felt at that time.i can't imagine how it feels,or felt.
    but this is a beatiful piece and im sure she is so proud.
    lovely work,
    whirl**
    | Posted on 2006-08-31 00:00:00 | by whirl | [ Reply to This ]
      This isn't "badly written", or whatever it was you said, dear. This is a poem written out of such extreme emotion, that no one could, would understand unless they lost a mom. And, I'm sorry you lost yours. It is a lovely and sad poem. I couldn't imagine reading it.....

    I had to read a poem at a friends funeral...and I just couldn't imagine reading it for someone as close to you as a mother is supposed to be.

    BCute<3
    | Posted on 2006-08-25 00:00:00 | by BCute | [ Reply to This ]


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