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    dots Submission Name: Death's Chocolatedots

    Author: Fadeintoreality
    Elite Ratio:    1.94 - 33/115/65
    Words: 136
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 1430
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 665

       dont judge, It was a free write, done out of pure emotion, judge that.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDeath's Chocolatedots

    The clock stared back at me, silently watching me. A little girl, just twelve. I stared at the long smooth box in front of me, as the hair on my back stood on end. It resembled a box of choclolates, I laughed bitterly at the thought, for I could feel the death, taste it even, as it overcame my body. I didn't want this, nor did I need to feel the pain. Cold, so cold was the body of the man I called father, so stiff like the dead hand of the reaper was his skin. For he was gone, take so fast, not even a cry could escape my lips. My father, lie in front of me. In the smooth wooden box, resembling a box of chocolates. One bite could take your breath away.

    Submitted on 2006-08-25 23:53:13     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      this is such a sad piece, you really made me feel the emotion here. i like how you related it to a box of chocolates and your ending line. i can't quite explain why. i guess becuase chocolate looks nice but depending on the type can actually be bitter just like a funeral- there's a nice presentation but the fact of the matter that a loved one is gone isn't as sweet
    | Posted on 2006-08-29 00:00:00 | by Seductress | [ Reply to This ]

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