Numb Inside by demonickitten87

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Submission Name: Numb Inside dots

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Author:	demonickitten87
ASL Info:	22/f/wa
Elite Ratio:	2.98 - 177/217/55
Words:	76

Class/Type:	Poetry/Depressed
Total Views:	330
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	478

Description:
I need help coming up with a title for this poem. I wrote it when I was really depressed and I felt numb and I wanted to cut so bad, but I am trying to stop so I wrote this poem

Numb Inside dots

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I cannot describe,
How I feel inside.
Its feels as though,
A part of me has died.

I feel nothing.
I feel numb.
I want to feel alive,
What have I become?

If only I could cut,
If only I could feel.
I want to see my blood,
It’s the only thing that’s real.

This agonizing urge,
That I keep trying to fight.
So my emotions pour out,
In this poem I write.

Submitted on 2004-05-20 17:28:29 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  i can really relate to the third stanza...you like feel like your nothing and sometimes like your not even really there like you dont exist...then when you see your blood coming out..it makes you feel like your living...ive been there...am still there actually...

well this is reptty good..you did a great job with putting your pain into it..

Rhaine
| Posted on 2005-01-12 00:00:00 | by Rhaine | [ Reply to This ]
  This was really great, you brought out the emotion in it very well. I loved the last stanza where it went, "So my emotions pour out/In this poem I write." Nice lines. I also really liked the title. Keep up the good work!
| Posted on 2004-05-20 00:00:00 | by Babysweet56 | [ Reply to This ]
  first off.... wow this is great i mean...wow.
second.... i envy u... that u hav the will power not to cut nemore. or atleast try to.
third..... welcome to the site i look forward to reading ur work. keep it up. l8r.

--asher demon--
| Posted on 2004-05-20 00:00:00 | by pyroskull | [ Reply to This ]
  a my like the only frucking teen thats never tryd to cut?.. and no im not blonde or preppy and I do have a frucked life lol.... anways.

The poem is good, even though the rhyming isnt forced... is like I dont know it rhymes too much, adding some lines bwtween the lines that rhyme will in my opinion make it sound better. The poem showed very well what you were feeling, but theirs always room for improvment.. unless you want to keep it that way; so more imagination and metaphors wouldnt hurt. Nice job, keep writting. And dont stress it too much every one goes through that stuff and is better sooner than later.
| Posted on 2004-05-20 00:00:00 | by Exodus Night Sky | [ Reply to This ]
  what's up with teenagers these days? nobody is living life anymore and the grave digger is very busy...
| Posted on 2004-05-20 00:00:00 | by pestiferous | [ Reply to This ]
  numb
how about that as a title? I know how that feels sometimes. I feel that there is nothing real in this world and not really feeling what I should for the people I love.
Darren
| Posted on 2004-05-20 00:00:00 | by dax | [ Reply to This ]

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