Maybe In Another Night -------------------------------------------
I want to die with you (so bad).
Everything we ever had
was swept away.
thoughts get worse.
"You must wonder why
I look at you
Maybe in another
we'll drive this hearse
to a place we've never
Underneath the sin,
and toward the wrath of God.
*chills* hehe - that was really great! I liked the style of this one, it flowed really nicely. The ending was perfect! Really pulled me into the emotions, and I could see everything very clearly. Excellent write! :)
Beautiful, I kinda feel wrong for saying that; but I'm sure you understand. A lot of people feel that to truelly love someone is to be willing to die for em; BULLSHYT! To love someone is to have every reason to die, but making them the one reason to live!(at least to me) As much as I love this(along with your other writes), I'd give it up in an instant if it meant you could/would be happy! I seem to have crossed the border where as much as I love your writes, I'd as soon not read them if it meant you were happy/happier. You will find happiness! You're just too wonderfully awsome not too!
Hmmm...I kind of have a problem with things that romanticize death and prop it up upon a pedestal as not only something to be desired but as the ideal way to prove/show/feel love for another person.
I guess I have had too much of the obsession thing in my life (the threat of "If I can't have you, no one will" and similar frightening things have been beaten into my psyche again and again over the years, and it is not a good thing...)
So the thought of being so devoted to a person and so in love that you want to die with them/for them just hits me the wrong way every time I hear it...
But aside from the CONTENT of the piece, this was a good write. I liked the mix of rhyming pattern and the flow...and also think you did just right in adding the "(so bad)"...it's kind of like a whispered after-thought or echo on the line...