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    dots Submission Name: (To Death)dots

    Author: Emerging Soul
    ASL Info:    48/VERY female/Wisconsin
    Elite Ratio:    4.36 - 1240/1114/244
    Words: 198
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 714
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1280

       I was inspired to write this by a poem by Liv2LovethePain...

    For a couple of these lines to make sense, I guess I should explain that for years I was told by my husband, "You married ME, I didn't marry YOU...you're the one that took MY NAME"

    And yes, it was abusive. He looks back now and apologizes and admits he was an ass and blames it on the fact that he was just a kid (18) when we married and he was immature. But hey...I was too...in fact, I was 17...so that excuse kinda never did fly with me...but anyway...

    The entire idea of obssessive love is a sore spot with me because I have LIVED IT my entire life. It has taken a different form now-a-days. It isn't so much "you're mine but I'm not yours" as it is "You're my everything...I can't stand to be away from you even for one night...I can't eat, I can't sleep, all I can think about is YOU..." kind of love, which is just as creepy and confining...


    (And, note to B...no, this isn't because something NEW happened...nothing is wrong...I'm just allowing memories to be stirred up...something I shouldn't do, but can't help sometimes, so don't worry about me, okay?)

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots(To Death)dots

    I remember the day
    When you were pawing through the dresser-drawer
    Searching for the gun
    You tried to say (years later)
    That you were gathering socks and underwear
    To pack in a suitcase and leave
    But I know better
    You say you'd never hurt me
    But you've threatened to, many times
    Isn't that just as bad?

    Maybe not.

    I've always been yours
    Too bad you weren't always mine
    I took YOUR name when we married (you said)
    And that made me your possession

    When you found out that there was someone else
    It (you) nearly killed me
    And suddenly things changed
    And you were also married to me

    But devotion (this way) is just another form of obsession
    And I wonder sometimes if it is real
    Do you love the thought of being owned by love
    Or do you love me?

    If you say you can't live without me
    Does that make you feel better about yourself?

    If you say I can't live if I'm not with you...

    Does that make you feel better about me?

    But you would never hurt me (you say)

    You love me (to death)

    Submitted on 2006-08-26 11:06:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Wow, I'm VERY sorry you've had to go through that. That's really sad and horrible. No one should be treated like that. I've never understood the practice of taking a man's name when you marry, and I'm keeping mine after I marry my finacÚ. I really can't think of anything constructive to say.

    | Posted on 2006-08-26 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm sorry you have to go through that too. But, from the message you left on my page, I admire you. You're a strong woman. I don't know if I'd of had the strength to stick it out and gotten to where it is now.

    I don't know much to say though. Except the whole "YOU took MY name" thing. *Shakes head* I understand your situation now. But, honestly that's just petty to me. I'm not meaning to upset you. Its just I've deal with guys like this my whole life. Not just verbally abusive mind you. But, physically also. And, maybe that's why I'm just ready to not put up with anything at all like that? LOL! I'm a dork......

    *Laughing is a defense mechanism to how cloes this hits to home*

    | Posted on 2006-08-26 00:00:00 | by BCute | [ Reply to This ]

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