Description: I was inspired to write this by a poem by Liv2LovethePain...
For a couple of these lines to make sense, I guess I should explain that for years I was told by my husband, "You married ME, I didn't marry YOU...you're the one that took MY NAME"
And yes, it was abusive. He looks back now and apologizes and admits he was an ass and blames it on the fact that he was just a kid (18) when we married and he was immature. But hey...I was too...in fact, I was 17...so that excuse kinda never did fly with me...but anyway...
The entire idea of obssessive love is a sore spot with me because I have LIVED IT my entire life. It has taken a different form now-a-days. It isn't so much "you're mine but I'm not yours" as it is "You're my everything...I can't stand to be away from you even for one night...I can't eat, I can't sleep, all I can think about is YOU..." kind of love, which is just as creepy and confining...
(And, note to B...no, this isn't because something NEW happened...nothing is wrong...I'm just allowing memories to be stirred up...something I shouldn't do, but can't help sometimes, so don't worry about me, okay?)
I remember the day
When you were pawing through the dresser-drawer
Searching for the gun
You tried to say (years later)
That you were gathering socks and underwear
To pack in a suitcase and leave
But I know better
You say you'd never hurt me
But you've threatened to, many times
Isn't that just as bad?
I've always been yours
Too bad you weren't always mine
I took YOUR name when we married (you said)
And that made me your possession
When you found out that there was someone else
It (you) nearly killed me
And suddenly things changed
And you were also married to me
But devotion (this way) is just another form of obsession
And I wonder sometimes if it is real
Do you love the thought of being owned by love
Or do you love me?
If you say you can't live without me
Does that make you feel better about yourself?
Wow, I'm VERY sorry you've had to go through that. That's really sad and horrible. No one should be treated like that. I've never understood the practice of taking a man's name when you marry, and I'm keeping mine after I marry my finacÚ. I really can't think of anything constructive to say.
I'm sorry you have to go through that too. But, from the message you left on my page, I admire you. You're a strong woman. I don't know if I'd of had the strength to stick it out and gotten to where it is now.
I don't know much to say though. Except the whole "YOU took MY name" thing. *Shakes head* I understand your situation now. But, honestly that's just petty to me. I'm not meaning to upset you. Its just I've deal with guys like this my whole life. Not just verbally abusive mind you. But, physically also. And, maybe that's why I'm just ready to not put up with anything at all like that? LOL! I'm a dork......
*Laughing is a defense mechanism to how cloes this hits to home*