[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Foreverdots

    Author: jennah
    ASL Info:    19/F/IL
    Elite Ratio:    4.07 - 101/73/22
    Words: 119
    Class/Type: Poetry/Sorry
    Total Views: 739
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 752

       This is my first year away at college, and I have a friend who is having a hard time with the fact that I am not there anymore. This poem is for her. Sephe, I love you and I miss you and I will always be here.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Looking out my window,
    staring at the rain,
    I wish for just one moment
    that I was home again.

    That I could just pick up the phone
    and know that you were near.
    That I could sit and laugh with you,
    instead of wishing you were here.

    I wish that I could tell you
    just how much I care.
    Knowing that I've caused you pain
    is almost to much to bear.

    I'm sorry that I had to leave,
    but one day you will too.
    Soon enough, your own path
    will open up for you.

    Maybe then, you'll understand
    just why it had to end,
    and realize that though I'm gone
    I'll always be your friend.

    Submitted on 2006-08-27 13:44:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      now i sit and cry as i think of the pain inside
    this was great but i had one critic
    in the next to the last stance you lost the flow of your words a bit with just i a little rewording this would be perfect
    but over all i loved this !
    | Posted on 2006-08-27 00:00:00 | by DonKB | [ Reply to This ]
      Jenna Marie!

    You're not supposed to write like you're dead! *hugs* Call me! You know I don't turn the phone off because I'm lazy! Gahh...Well, it was a good poem, but more of a random thought that wasn't so random.

    | Posted on 2006-08-27 00:00:00 | by Persephone | [ Reply to This ]
      Jenna, this poem is wonderfull. Its one of those poems that can be applied to a million situatios, and be as deep and moving in any of them. I like how the poem is dark but at the same time has a hopefull tone to it.

    Luv ya
    | Posted on 2006-08-27 00:00:00 | by Selene | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    prison written by ShyOne
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    Love written by saartha
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Angel Eyes written by poetotoe
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    untitled written by ShyOne
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]