[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Foreverdots

    Author: jennah
    ASL Info:    19/F/IL
    Elite Ratio:    4.07 - 101/73/22
    Words: 119
    Class/Type: Poetry/Sorry
    Total Views: 750
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 752

       This is my first year away at college, and I have a friend who is having a hard time with the fact that I am not there anymore. This poem is for her. Sephe, I love you and I miss you and I will always be here.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Looking out my window,
    staring at the rain,
    I wish for just one moment
    that I was home again.

    That I could just pick up the phone
    and know that you were near.
    That I could sit and laugh with you,
    instead of wishing you were here.

    I wish that I could tell you
    just how much I care.
    Knowing that I've caused you pain
    is almost to much to bear.

    I'm sorry that I had to leave,
    but one day you will too.
    Soon enough, your own path
    will open up for you.

    Maybe then, you'll understand
    just why it had to end,
    and realize that though I'm gone
    I'll always be your friend.

    Submitted on 2006-08-27 13:44:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      now i sit and cry as i think of the pain inside
    this was great but i had one critic
    in the next to the last stance you lost the flow of your words a bit with just i a little rewording this would be perfect
    but over all i loved this !
    | Posted on 2006-08-27 00:00:00 | by DonKB | [ Reply to This ]
      Jenna Marie!

    You're not supposed to write like you're dead! *hugs* Call me! You know I don't turn the phone off because I'm lazy! Gahh...Well, it was a good poem, but more of a random thought that wasn't so random.

    | Posted on 2006-08-27 00:00:00 | by Persephone | [ Reply to This ]
      Jenna, this poem is wonderfull. Its one of those poems that can be applied to a million situatios, and be as deep and moving in any of them. I like how the poem is dark but at the same time has a hopefull tone to it.

    Luv ya
    | Posted on 2006-08-27 00:00:00 | by Selene | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Bond written by saartha
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Estranged / Shocks written by Daniel Barlow
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Linger written by saartha
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Fasade written by jackz
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Happy Saint Patrick's Day written by poetotoe
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    written by Daniel Barlow
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Every..... written by jackz
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    True Death written by layDsayD
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]