Description: Dedicated to my aunt
Gone, Sadly Missed, But not forgotten
Down she goes,
In the hole
And I cant do anything,
To save her soul
In the grave she soon will rest,
And soon she wont look her best
Its dark and cold down below
The thoughts of her,
It kills me now,
I know she's afraid
At the point when she was laid
I know it's sad
My heart still weeps
But in my heart
I will always keep
The thoughts of her
And what we have done
But all I can say now
Is Aunt....... SO LONG
I like this. I like it because it's real. It isn't making light of a serious issue, and it's not overkilling it either. It's exactly where it needs to be, and it's obvious that it is exactly the way you feel, and not something thrown together.
I like the perspective of this piece. Its more morbid yet more realistic and almost more poignant than the traditional funeral piece. Thanks for commenting on mine by the way, Im glad to see your view.
Once again words escape me, fantastic. The goosebumps are back. I too am sorry for your loss, your Aunt must have been a very special and much loved person, and though it is a cliché, it is better to have lived and and been loved than to be living today alone. A wonderful piece.
This is written very sincerely. I like the rhyme, your style and the structure of the poem. You write from a standpoint of someone who has experienced loss, therefore the emotion is honest and touching. Very well done!
This was cool, you should change the lines " The thoughts of she" to The thoughts of her (using she is grammaticaly incorrect). Other than that its a cool piece. I am sorry i couldnt come to her funeral.