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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Never Say Neverdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Lisa Milligan
    ASL Info:    48/F/VA
    Elite Ratio:    3.71 - 38/47/21
    Words: 157
    Class/Type: Poetry/Me
    Total Views: 726
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 917



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsNever Say Neverdots
    -------------------------------------------


    www.dadstheword.com


    Iíve never seen anything as beautiful as my babyís face as he sleeps
    Iíve never been the pretty one
    Iíve never slept as well in a bed as I do in the sand listening to the waves
    Iíve never worn a wedding dress
    Iíve never tasted anything as good as a tomato picked out of the garden and rinsed with a hose
    Iíve never had the love of a good man
    Iíve never wanted anything as much as who God chose for my son
    Iíve never looked as good in the morning light
    As I did in the candlelight
    I've never smelled anything better than a pan of brownies baking
    Iíve never lived a day without pain
    Iíve never lived at the beach
    Iíve never had my parentsí approval
    Iíve never been a girl you take home to meet Mom
    Iíve never liked my brother
    Iíve never been as blessed as I am today




    Submitted on 2006-08-27 16:32:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This is pretty good, but I think it would be much better without repeating "I've never" so redundantly. I think you could just say it once:

    Iíve never seen anything as beautiful as my babyís face as he sleeps
    been the pretty one
    slept as well in a bed as I do in the sand listening to the waves
    worn a wedding dress
    tasted anything as good as a tomato picked out of the garden and rinsed with a hose
    had the love of a good man

    etc.

    Alternately, you could make it a list:

    Iíve never:
    seen anything as beautiful as my babyís face as he sleeps
    been the pretty one
    slept as well in a bed as I do in the sand listening to the waves
    worn a wedding dress
    tasted anything as good as a tomato picked out of the garden and rinsed with a hose
    had the love of a good man

    etc.

    I like the hopeful tone the title gives this.

    I hope all is well,
    Amy

    | Posted on 2006-08-28 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
      The only other person I pray for to find love, marriage, family and happiness more than my son is you. And it is so ironic what you said about my son bringing me hope. Over the last year or two, he had to beat it into my brain but he has finally taught me to hope. Ironically, that's something I thought about just this morning that I want to write to him - a piece about how, with everything I've been through, what I want to thank him for most is teaching me just that: hope. Not something I had until he refused to give up allowing to go through life without it. Sometimes around here, you gotta wonder: who is the parent, and who is the child?!?
    | Posted on 2006-08-27 00:00:00 | by Lisa Milligan | [ Reply to This ]
      Good grief. You and I could be the same person if it weren't for the fact that you have your son. Its like you've managed to like...squeeze my heart so tight knowing someone else feels all this...

    Hurts me. Kinda. No one deserves it. But, yet you have hope. And, your son brings you that. And, I only can go, "What if" for myself. But, I'm happy you have that one thing.

    BCute<3
    | Posted on 2006-08-27 00:00:00 | by BCute | [ Reply to This ]


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