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    dots Submission Name: To whom it may concern.dots

    Author: darkened_soul
    Elite Ratio:    3.38 - 812/868/171
    Words: 212
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 933
    Average Vote:    3.3333
    Bytes: 1376

       My first poem in a LONGGG time. It has a lot of spaces where they shouldn't be, because my space key is messed up. Please let me know of any spelling errors.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTo whom it may concern.dots

    After lots of heavy thinking,
    Weighing out the good and bad,
    I regret to inform you of my fairwell,
    Leaving behind what's done and said.
    I can no longer live like this,
    Pretending it's all okay,
    Having to lie to you all the time,
    Rather, every single day.
    If you cannot forgive me,
    This I can understand.
    You have the strength to move on
    You've just got to be a man.
    I did not start this lie,
    You need to take the blame
    I can't go back to pretending now,
    It won't ever be the same.
    Now I do not chose this goodbye,
    It only comes automatic.
    If you'd agree we can move on
    That's the way I'd have it.
    So, I leave you to the choice,
    I'm just getting my point across.
    I can't say this any other way,
    The point would surely be lost.
    Do not take this harshly,
    We both knew this day would come.
    Though I wish'd it come another way.
    It's already been done.
    With my final words,
    I want us to move past, move on
    Continuing our friendship,
    The past, done and gone.
    So now it lies with you,
    Can you forgive and forget?
    I'll be waiting for the answer,
    Just know, I hold no regret.

    Submitted on 2006-08-27 19:56:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Some one had to hear these words and They are clear and to the point. They have a finality to them but show forgiveness and a gracious willingness to move the relationship to a new level. you manage to put your point across in different ways so that there can be no missconception. well said good writting. Jerilynn
    | Posted on 2008-03-01 00:00:00 | by Jerilynn | [ Reply to This ]
      This one has guts . You're getting the point across well, and poetically without diluting the essentials with rhyming clutter. When I read it out loud the second time there were some little hiccups in the flow, but then again that made the poem speak in a 'real-er' way.
    I'm not one to comment lots but since this is your first peice in a long time, and as someone said it being very good in that context, I just had to .
    Thanks for sharing, you've put into words something that has happened and will happen to me too...no matter how personal, theres a universal (painful) truth in there.
    In my opinion .
    | Posted on 2006-08-28 00:00:00 | by -YonY- | [ Reply to This ]
      It does have some spaces where there shouldnt be any. But I recently started writing again to after a looong break. And I admit theres nothing I would change about this you did extremely well for a rebound piece. I hope mine go as well..congratulations on some amazing wording.

    | Posted on 2006-08-28 00:00:00 | by Jingles | [ Reply to This ]
      i liked this peice some of the rhyming seemed a bit off but for someo0ne who hasn't written in a while its a master peice. i like alot of the parts, some stand out more then others. for example:
    So now it lies with you,
    Can you forgive and forget?
    I'll be waiting for the answer,
    Just know, I hold no regret
    the ending really stood out to me, i liked it alot. keep writing...
    | Posted on 2006-08-27 00:00:00 | by speedrocketguit | [ Reply to This ]

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