Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Labor Day - A Season's Changedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: oixi
    ASL Info:    50/M/California
    Elite Ratio:    2.85 - 196/243/100
    Words: 145
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nature
    Total Views: 1124
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 977



    Description:
       A rhyming verse about Labor Day


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLabor Day - A Season's Changedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Whispery winds blow from far away,
    shrieking like alley cats in heat.
    Signals the valley that Labor Day;
    the end of summer does entreat.

    Mother Nature compels the gale
    to rustle leaves and raise the waves.
    So, year after year, without fail;
    seasons turn like willing slaves.

    And who then is the master in
    this episodic season change?
    Shall we rely on the past to win
    this contest, now that seems so strange?

    The future is swallowed
    by what came before.
    The present seems hollow
    like a cheaply made door.

    This door opens to what will come;
    opened by a steady breeze
    Thus revealing the total sum,
    resulting from a Godly sneeze.

    Winds telegraph summerís end;
    heaven sent by a blast from God.
    And much like the riverís bend;
    sailing may turn from smooth to hard.





    Submitted on 2006-08-28 13:21:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      THis is one of the best pieces I have seen on here in a while. Excellant metre and structure. The words were eloquent and the images pleasing. It is a very enjoyable read and I am happy to have found it.
    Straight to my favs.

    your friend
    ben
    | Posted on 2006-08-28 00:00:00 | by BenCollier | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    116144

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Wavelength written by saartha
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Giving written by jjd
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Push written by JanePlane
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    untitled written by Chelebel

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry