Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Get Outdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: juss_kriss
    ASL Info:    23/F/Canada
    Elite Ratio:    3.87 - 404/445/126
    Words: 192
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Angry
    Total Views: 642
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1267



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsGet Outdots
    -------------------------------------------


    verse 1:
    i tried to erase you
    from my heart, from my past
    no matter how hard i rub
    part of you always seems to stay
    your mark on my paper heart
    will never go away

    chorus:
    you walked outta my life
    but you moved into my head
    and you won't shut up
    you talk twenty-four, seven
    you said you wanted out
    well i'm not stopping you
    get outta my heart
    get outta my heart
    just get out already

    verse 2:
    i tried to delete you
    from my thoughts, from my mind
    but that stupid computer
    it never seems to work for me
    that file stuck on my harddrive
    will never be erased

    chorus

    verse 3:
    i tried to ignore you
    close my eyes, plug my ears
    but your words keep getting through
    it's like you're screaming in my ear
    i'm hurting from the ringing
    will you just go away

    coda:
    i've tried to erase you
    i've tried to delete you
    i've tried to ignore you
    you walked outta my life
    but moved into my head
    get out of my head, head, head
    just get out




    Submitted on 2006-08-28 17:00:17     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I love this and I can sorta relate from a different perspective on the verses. This is great. I really like the first verse excpetialy :
    "your mark on my paper heart"
    That is an awsome line. Great piece. Write on.

    Sarah
    | Posted on 2006-08-31 00:00:00 | by S.A.M. | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    116160

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    The World written by jjd
    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Whispered written by endlessgame23
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    untitled written by Outlaw

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry