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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: A kiss christened suicidedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: every48seconds
    ASL Info:    25/M/toronto
    Elite Ratio:    3.32 - 123/163/129
    Words: 219
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 1101
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1246



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA kiss christened suicidedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Your ocean blue eyes pull me under, oxygen leaves me as I begin to suffocate, you crush my body and my organs explode

    Your touch drills holes through me; blood runs like a river to the floor below and mixes with the dirt, bestowing more devastating power onto you.

    I feel my soul, my mind leaving me, slowly killing me and driving me to insanity, you learn everything about me, everything I know as you take it from me without remorse....
    All with a single kiss

    And that smile, so warm, so inviting and yet can hide something, someone who can take everything from you, say that they love you and yet be the instrument of your death...

    Yet I couldn't go on living without all of them, the warmth of your smile couldn't be found anywhere else, life isn't worth living without your lips against mine even if they could kill me one day, that feeling I get and pain I get when we touch, hearts beating same time for each other and your eyes…. I love that feeling of suffocation and death when it comes from you, so amazing because it’s such an unknown hate deep in your eyes.

    That destructive and yet beautiful feeling when I meet you is just perfect....




    Submitted on 2006-08-29 07:44:19     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      DAM.... wow umm... this write is has me speechless! I love how you go on to write even knowing that this persons lips would and could kill you that you could not live without them. And the beginning sets the tone for the ENTIRE post and paints a picture in my mind. The words flows nicely wonderfully with one another its as if I am reading this from your soul. GREAT post

    ~And that smile, so warm, so inviting and yet can hide something, someone who can take everything from you, say that they love you and yet be the instrument of your death...~

    "Say that they love you and yet be the instrument of your death"

    WOW speaks volumes

    Jackz

    | Posted on 2009-06-25 00:00:00 | by jackz | [ Reply to This ]
      I really liked this!! It had a lot of imagery and metaphors, and the wording was very poetic!! I liked the whole idea, and felt you portrayed it extremely well!!! :] Great job!!
    | Posted on 2007-07-28 00:00:00 | by TheStillSilence | [ Reply to This ]
      This is interesting. . . . . your technique is great. I like the vision of it as well but for some reason it just feels like it's missing something. . . just can't put my finger on just what that somthing is. It is a good write though. Keep it up.

    Sarah
    | Posted on 2006-09-20 00:00:00 | by S.A.M. | [ Reply to This ]


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