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    dots Submission Name: Never the Samedots

    Author: DisilusndDreamr
    ASL Info:    21/F/Az
    Elite Ratio:    4.09 - 105/85/24
    Words: 171
    Class/Type: Poetry/Death
    Total Views: 803
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1118


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    dotsNever the Samedots

    And I didn’t want to see this
    the one where I lost my grip on
    everything good

    the second I lost you

    she pulled away and said so quietly
    “He’s gone.”
    and when my breath stopped
    I knew I was gone too

    everything you were
    fallen away
    in the space of a heartbeat
    that never came

    so much more than anything else,
    than my words or tears could encompass
    what justice could those ever do you?

    my antidote for pain

    your eyes closed
    your body so empty
    the face of you
    but you’re no longer here

    I touched you one last time
    but there wasn’t that warmth
    there was just me

    what use is memory now?
    Just a device to
    hurt me over and over,
    a reminder (unnecessary, unwanted)

    I touched you one last time
    but it wasn’t a comfort
    it only drove home that I
    would never be the same

    (I knew I was gone too)

    Submitted on 2006-08-30 00:27:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      it is a good poem witha diffrent style, every second line of each paragraph is informative and related to first line in a very unique and maybe this is where your poem is different from others.
    this poem is two way poem, it is both above and below, i mean deep. as i read every physical thing about death was clear but i can understand this poem is also about the emotional death.

    I touched you one last time
    but there wasn’t that warmth
    there was just me

    when a relationship dies, some emotions become very cold same as when someone dies the body becomes cold. somehow emtional death is more painful than physical death.

    i think the way you expained death is great you covered all the aspects.
    i liked those lines about memories they touched my heart, it felt really amazing.

    | Posted on 2006-08-30 00:00:00 | by imagination | [ Reply to This ]

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