Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Heart On Deadlinedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: juss_kriss
    ASL Info:    23/F/Canada
    Elite Ratio:    3.87 - 404/445/126
    Words: 229
    Class/Type: Lyrics/BrokenHeart
    Total Views: 827
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1517



    Description:
       basically about waiting around for this one person who's taking their time to come back, but in the end, you don't want them anymore cause you've waited too long and they missed their chance.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHeart On Deadlinedots
    -------------------------------------------


    verse 1:
    seconds tick by
    as minutes fade away
    i sit and patiently wait
    for and end to come
    or a new beginning
    whichever comes first
    will relieve my soul
    cause it's hard to hold on
    when i'm ready to let go

    chorus:
    i've been holding on, for so long
    and if you won't take my hand
    then i'll choose to move on
    my heart is running out of patience
    so it's your turn to decide
    and you're running out of time
    cause my heart is on a deadline

    verse 2:
    days pass by
    and weekends disappear
    i swear i won't cry
    if i don't hear from you
    oh you have your own life
    and i have mine
    but i want you here
    it's so hard to hold on
    cause i'm ready to let go

    chorus

    verse 3:
    months creep past
    and i am losing count
    of all the times i've cried
    i've sat here to wait
    but it's getting too late
    and i can't take it
    i want you with me
    but it's hard to hold on
    and i'm ready to move on

    chorus

    coda:
    i've been holding on for too long
    and if you won't take my hand
    i'll be moving on
    you're running out of time
    you're running out of time
    cause my heart is on a deadline




    Submitted on 2006-08-30 10:00:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Hey,
    i think this is the first time i am reading your lyrics. I never really had the experience in waiting for someone to come around and grab my hand to tell me they want me but i really tried to understand what you were saying and i think i got the general message as to what you were saying. It's pretty cool to actually feel something you never felt before and being able to understand the other's point of view. So thanks for sharing this piece.

    I don't really think a heart is on a deadline honestly because once it begins beating, it never really stops unless you run out of patience. It's all about what you are willing to do for this love except for waiting. Waiting doesn't really help too much. As my b/f says "I'm not psychic, if you want something, tell me, i can't get into your head". So instead of waiting, go for it or at least indicate some signs. Waiting is a waste of time unless you've done all you could and patience is what you need at that time.

    My only suggestions is to use capital letter for "I", it kinda looks bad in english language. I don't really know how lyrics go these days but i am sure they still use capital "I".

    Anyhow, nicely done.
    Take care....
    ~Irina
    | Posted on 2006-09-04 00:00:00 | by charmedidentity | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like this one Kriss. One of your best in a while girl. I really like the idea behind it. I love the last bit of the chorus,
    " so it's your turn to decide
    and you're running out of time
    cause my heart is on a deadline"
    The whole chorads is awsome though. Great piece Kriss. Keep on writing.

    Sarah
    | Posted on 2006-08-31 00:00:00 | by S.A.M. | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    116356

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Commencement written by Ramneet
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Linger written by saartha
    Giving written by jjd
    I'm here written by BloodtornAngel
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Bond written by saartha
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    A Drink written by jjd
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    This written by Chelebel
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry