So I stand on my own stage
Looking out into time mind and mouth stuck
What am I suppose to say?
Speak what my heart has spoken.
Please ears have taken in enough negative to make the whole world cry
Iíll go and dig in sand to find a grain of my integrity
Maybe the tough exterior and partial feeling is part of my inheritance
Even though I tell myself I am me and no one else is
I control my own destiny and no one else thinks
So I put a double standard on myself, now
Iíll watch as my impartial self being becomes extinct
Hide everything thatís a familiar instinct
Wishes make thoughts become an incomplete reality
Not at all see through my tears are real
Look closer and youíll see my pain people
Facing wars within ourselves,
Insanity is the closest thing to sane people
Supposedly Iím socially irresponsible for believing things could be better
I speak to the walls and they answer with parodies
Novels of insecurity and self hate, self mutilation and all things the world face
Held a debate with myself for the first time I won but I donít know which side
Blind of things ahead but Iíll walk the pavement to see where exactly I end up
I got it Iíll walk backwards that way I donít have to stop
Because I wonít know where to go and when to stop
My, what else to sayÖ..
My story is told, this is for the self hater
Seems like you have gone on stage and let your emotions take over control. I guess it is always great to express your emotions although sometimes it brings you into a lot of trouble and sometimes you wished you didn't have any of those emotions.
I guess it's good to write about what you think and what you feel and just say it straight out instead of keeping it in. As noticed in this piece, you were simply expressing your thoughts, nothing more. Best to write it out than to do anything wrong about it.
I like how this feels ... it feels like when you pick yourself apart.... like watching yourself on stage. good point, there. I don't feel a flow really in it, but I dig the thoughts. this part really grabbed me:
"Iíll go and dig in sand to find a grain of my integrity"
when you're looking at your own life and judging it... it is hard to find integrity.