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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Struggle for Fooddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Mehndi Rose
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 8/5/3
    Words: 135
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 544
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 946



    Description:
       This is about the struggle that many people in our world suffer through everyday.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsStruggle for Fooddots
    -------------------------------------------


    Children crying for food,
    to get them through the day.
    Their bellies filled with dirt,
    and bugs they scavenged for.
    Sympathy fills my heart,
    the heart that loves them so.
    Food is all I ask for,
    so I can see smiles light up,
    and bellies filled properly.

    From birth to death they work,
    trying to feed themselves.
    Yet, there they go,
    feeding those more needy.
    Hearts bigger than their meals,
    giving up their only food.
    If dirt can even be called food,
    hard, crunchy, sun-baked dirt.
    Dirt. Gravel. Soil. Earth.

    Countries bountiful,
    and ours is a pity to behold.
    Look the other way,
    while you eat at restaurants.
    Generosity comes not so often,
    but when it does, oh!
    How our bellies are filled,
    with rice and vegetables and
    even chicken! Food! Real Food!




    Submitted on 2006-08-30 15:18:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      The write made sense to me except for this part:

    Hearts bigger than their meals,
    giving up their only food.
    If dirt can even be called food,
    hard, crunchy, sun-baked dirt.
    Dirt. Gravel. Soil. Earth.

    Umm...okay so they eat dirt? Then instead of eating the dirt they give it to someone else to eat? I'm sorry, you lost me here. Maybe it's my ignorance of this topic.

    The last five lines I thought were a great way to sum up this piece. Perhaps because I found it most relatable as from knowing by my own experiences what a luxury healthy, nutritious food can be. It reminded me of when my oldest son and I first lived on our own. I lived on tea and bread for the first six weeks. My son fared better.

    It's hard to imagine what it would be like to live in poverty so extreme that you would eat dirt.

    In the city I live in there is alot of what is defined as "poverty" but certainly nothing like this. There are plenty of homeless people who panhandle for change then grab a slice of pizza.

    Hmm..well, you've certainly left me with quite a bit to think about.


    | Posted on 2006-09-24 00:00:00 | by fo | [ Reply to This ]
      The 'struggle for food' is a sad one, agreeable. It's like watching a human being dying while reaching for them to take your hand. As hopeless as this plight seems, there's only so much we can do.

    So many fingers point in so many directions. Our government, who seemingly doesn't care, their government who hordes/exploites natural resources/people.

    Honestly, I haven't been to resteraunt in a while. I practically only "eat" to kill the hunger.. as I'm sure I'm not the only one.

    Sarah
    | Posted on 2006-08-30 00:00:00 | by vohomegirl | [ Reply to This ]
      This was really sad. It takes great character to write something like this. It is good to see that not everyone is engrossed in themselves. The most unfortunate part of this whole picture is that the amount of food we waste could feed MILLIONS of malnourished people in the world. Everyone deserves the necessities of life; but they are unevenly divided. I am glad that someone has taken the task of writing on this topic. Thanks

    Abbas
    | Posted on 2006-09-09 00:00:00 | by abuzzbuzz92 | [ Reply to This ]
      I love this poem! Not many people write about other's problems but their own because it's much easier. This poem shows the problem that many people have but some don't know about.

    Some people say that what they have right in front of them isn't good enough but if you give that something to the children that don't have anything, they think it's wonderful. I'm glad that you wrote this but I wish many more people would read it.

    I visited my home country this summer, Vietnam, and I look around at the dirty streets and the homeless. I feel so bad for them that they don't have the stuff that we do. One day I hope to give money to the poor and food to the hungry.

    Great Job!
    ~*~ Lisa ~*~
    | Posted on 2006-09-02 00:00:00 | by Nani | [ Reply to This ]
      Hmm. Interesting. I'll be honest with you here
    This is a very honest write, and I'd like more people to read this, just so that they will realise that it's not 'normal' that they have a plate full of food everyday. So yeah, the message certainly is good. And the flow in the first stanza was good, but it looks to me like you lost it in the rest of the piece, and only some parts i found it back again.
    Then, for the stylistic feautures, It seems that you wanted to get this message down and didnt really think of any devices to use. But you know, I miss a bit of imagery, metaphors and sometimes alliteration assonance and stuff can really spice up a write too.
    Oh btw.. its actually really funny that you mentioned restaurants, Iíve been to one in my whole life, and it happens to be tomorrow that Iím going to a restaurant again, my second time ever.. I think Iíll be thinking of this write while eating there. [btw its bc my granddad turned 85]
    Uhm,.. I gtg.. Hope this comment is maybe useful, and please donít read it as though im bashing your write or anything, cause there were good parts in it too, like I already said.

    Byes

    Darthieeee
    | Posted on 2006-08-31 00:00:00 | by Darth Zeus | [ Reply to This ]


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