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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Break-Updots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: BlueHeart
    ASL Info:    14/M/NY
    Elite Ratio:    2.85 - 14/24/19
    Words: 814
    Class/Type: Misc/Love
    Total Views: 658
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 4529



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Break-Updots
    -------------------------------------------


    Wednesday August 23rd, 2006 5:59 PM EST/STD

    Eight business days into socer and I have officially rubbed the cartalage from my bones. I'm not sore, but as my dear loving mother says, "You're just not used to that kind of physical activity!" Gee thanks, Mom.

    If I could, I would like to thank Emmy, Mason's friend. Through myspace she has recently informed me that it's not Mason's fault he hasn't called me. He was "in trouble" and grounded for 3 months.

    Of course.

    It was my surprise when he called me the next day.

    "Hi."

    "Oh my gosh! Hey! Emmy told me about the groundage, what happened?"

    "Oh, ummmm. I got drunk and passed out in an abandoned house."

    Of course.

    "Oh that's not good."

    "Yea, I know...."

    "You sound sad, what's wrong?"

    "Oh nothing. nothing."

    "So, uh, what happened that night?"

    "Oh! I got drunk, I can't even remember."

    "Nothing?"

    "Nothing."

    Well, that explains that.

    Although there's no cahnge in housing on Becca's case, we both received disturbing news. Mr Pratt is gone. For good. Forever...

    Sophie's on vacation in South Carolina. No words needed, none now spoken.

    Suspicion. It seems like such a dirty word, but I can't get it off my mind.It started simple. With a little slip of words like "He's hot" or "I want him". That's when suspicion started. I couldn't get it off my mind and lied by telling him he was on my mind, which wasn't a complete lie.

    I had to ask someone so I (typically) turned to people I could trust. Complete strangers.

    It went something like this:

    "My boyfriend and I live 2 and 1/2 hours away. He's 15 and I'm 14, and everything's great. He's the best guy I've ever met. Well, technically never met.

    See, we've never met, and he has this problem. He has an eye disease that will make him go blind in 8 years. Now, I understand why he's looking for a life partner, but me? I can't commit to that!!! What should I do?"

    RESPONSE #1: You're too young to make that kind of decision, break it off!

    RESPONSE #2: Agreed

    RESPONSE#3: Long-distance relationships are stupid

    AGREED

    "Just do it over the internet!"

    "No, that's......dishonorable"

    "Who cares?"

    "I do. It'll break his heart."

    "So what's the problem?"

    "I want him to live!"

    "That makes one of us"

    "What do you have against him?"

    "He's done things..."

    "like what?"

    "ummmm..."

    "Kate tell me, please"

    "He's a slut....even more than Byron"

    "Yea, so?"

    "My sources say, the other night..."

    "Yea???"

    Finally! Maybe a reason to break up with him!

    What, what was I saying!?

    "Do I need to spell it out for you?"

    I was clueless

    "He's cheating on you"

    To my surprise, nothing hurt inside. In fact, I was excited! Finally, a good reason to break up with him. Now......how to do it.

    He says without me, he'll kill himself. Rihanna, girl, I see what you're saying now. I don't want to be a murderer. I don't want him out of my life, though. Isn't the point of breaking up to completely block them from your lfie, though?

    Today, do break-ups exclude breaking up?

    TO BE CONTINUED






    Submitted on 2006-08-30 18:24:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Hey Danni,

    I just came to your page accidentally, But I had to read this. Seen the date you posted this, I guess a lot has happened in the mean time. I thought last time we spoke you two had already broken up, and you even found a new love? I'm sorry if this is all wrong and I might be messing things up a little. Anyway, I really like your writing style. It's very vivid, and this is gonna sound stupid but it reminds me of my own writing style. It does sound stupid what I am saying now, because it now looks as though I'm saying I write cool :S [sorry If I'm confusing you now]. So Yeah. I guess it's just cool to read something in the way I could have wriitten it, because I think it indicates that we both like it that way. [if this makes any sense]
    Anyway, tell me how you are doing now, with all these things..
    And.. Love may be the most wonderfull thing in our life, it also sucks and depresses the most. It's a stupid thing really, especially when we are young.. we dont really know what to do witht that love thing. But if you ask me, grown ups dont know either half of the time.
    But let me stop rambling on and on. Just let me know how you are and stuff, I like talking to you.

    Janneke
    | Posted on 2006-09-18 00:00:00 | by Darth Zeus | [ Reply to This ]
      "Eight business days into socer and I have officially rubbed the cartalage from my bones."

    No offense, and feel free to ignore me because it's only my opinion, but I think you need to check your spelling an grammar. I know you may not care, but I think you should put your best work here. It's also a workshop, so we're supposed to offer ideas about how to improve what we read. I thought the approach was interesting, but I also agree that it's choppy in places.

    I hope you're well,
    Amy

    | Posted on 2006-08-31 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
      This was an interesting piece. Break-ups ARE way complicated today. I've been on the phone with ex's, needing to break up with them, because doing it in person would cause tempers to flare. It's all: "Baby, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, I'll kill myself without you." So you end up going back, getting hurt worse, and then They leave You. It's a messed up cycle and you're capturing that well so far.

    BCute<3
    | Posted on 2006-08-31 00:00:00 | by BCute | [ Reply to This ]
      okay, I don't know what to say about this piece. I have to say that this writing caught my attention from the get go.

    I really like how you started this off...but, then i feel like it got a little choppy and that it just went back and forth. I don't really know how to explain it and I don't know if you really care, but if you do go ahead and just message me. i think that this piece could be great!!

    sincerely,
    longdays
    | Posted on 2006-08-30 00:00:00 | by longwinterdays | [ Reply to This ]


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