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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Hey Daddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Valle_Siddious
    ASL Info:    24/Male/Dystopia
    Elite Ratio:    2.51 - 93/94/41
    Words: 125
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 926
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 680



    Description:
       I wrote this back before i figured out how hard it is to be a dad from fiteen miles away.
    Hope u enjoy it.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHey Daddots
    -------------------------------------------


    Look closer, my father, and see what you've done.
    The life you fucked up was the one of your son.
    You fucked up my dreams and you fucked up my life.
    So i fucked up my arm with a big pointy knife.
    Hey dad, how've you been for these past 12 years?
    Are you even aware of my broken heart and tears?
    Yo dad, do you realize your driving me mad?
    You get up, drive away, i'm not suppose to be sad?
    Just stop with these promises that turn into lies.
    My will is real shakey, your making me cry.
    Where were you dad, when i picked up that knife?
    I wish you were a little more involved in my life.




    Submitted on 2006-08-31 12:36:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||
      i can relate to this. i never knew my father. someday i hope to meet him, but i never knew him. and my adopted dad is trying to keep me from learning about my past by finding him. this really hit me in the heart. nicely done.

    ~ lizzy
    | Posted on 2009-07-01 00:00:00 | by gwenn sundala | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow... this is deep I actually clicked on this b/c the title intrigued me.Wow I says so much for such a short post! I can totally relate my father has just came back into myself but only because of a gun shot wound I sustained and almost dying at the ER... Wow great post

    Jackz
    | Posted on 2009-06-30 00:00:00 | by jackz | [ Reply to This ]
      I thought the beginning was very good. You jumped right into it and got the reader's attention from the start. It was very full of emotion. As I was reading it, I could even feel the anger! Very well written!

    =Ayane= ^_^
    | Posted on 2006-08-31 00:00:00 | by Ayane | [ Reply to This ]
      The first four lines totally rock! In your face,getting the info and point across and the flow and rhyme is good. After that it loses it's way a bit structually but it tells a story and ends well-with how you feel as a result of your Dad's actions-good stuff.
    | Posted on 2006-08-31 00:00:00 | by Asakura Cowboy | [ Reply to This ]
      its hard to see things from the parents point of view when you're young. it's not until we're older we realise just what our parents have achieved with us.
    i take it from what you said about the poem, you now realise he maybe did try harder than you thought?
    your poem made me feel sad. but then, i'm just soppy like that.
    a very good piece. full of emotion. it had a 'little boy lost' kinda feel to it.
    i liked it a lot.
    whirl**
    | Posted on 2006-08-31 00:00:00 | by whirl | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh wow, that sounded serious. I know I can't tell you I feel the same way to make you feel better, because than I wouldn't be telling the truth. But I know many people who DO go through this.

    I live my life, trying to see what other people go through. That's what most of my poems are about.

    So I'm sorry you did have to go through this. I know it's hard to live your life without somebody supporting you. That's what my "Never There" poem is about. I think you think that he doesn't care about you but... he probably does. When there is nobody there for you, you feel like you're dead inside, your life means nothing. But everybody always has somebody there... and you do too.

    Anyways, this poem was really sad after I finished reading it. I could feel your pain from the way you discribed it.

    Keep on writing,
    ~*~ Lisa ~*~
    | Posted on 2006-09-02 00:00:00 | by Nani | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey this is an awesome poem, it really tells a major story underneath those simple words. This is how I'm feeling about my parents right now and I can tell you for sure and I not lying, that I can totally relate to this. If you need someone to talk to, remember I'm always here and that your not alone.

    Ash
    | Posted on 2006-09-02 00:00:00 | by Ashuri | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    116455

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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